Permanently Deleted

  • notthenameiwant [he/him]
    ·
    4 years ago

    I've been kept up in a zombie state for 3 years now. I have literally gotten 4 hours of sleep tops per night every night for the last 3 years (usually less). I can't afford to see a doctor to get meds that will put me to sleep. The last time I went to see a doctor I got put on some blood pressure medicine that worked as well as Melatonin (this was 2 years ago). I don't know what I'm going to do. It's hard for me to even interact with people anymore I'm so tired. My current co-workers and previous bosses still say I'm a "good and hard worker" like it matters at this point. If you can't prove yourself via people skills you don't get the job.

    I took this 84 hour per week job today because I'm awake anyway and had all of my friends and family robbed from me. I have no idea if I'm going to be able to cope with 14 hour days 6x days a week. Maybe what I'm making will give me what I need to see a proper doctor to allow me to sleep and make rent. All of this is horrible.

    Normally I wouldn't even write something like this, but it's this or a therapist, which comes with waiting times and a price, which I can't afford right now. Fuck me right?

    • Amorphous [any]
      ·
      4 years ago

      Yo that's fucked, comrade. I can't even imagine. I've had my share of sleep troubles in my life, especially induced by stress, but if I get only 4 hours of sleep even one night I can't function properly. In your position, I'd probably have abandoned any semblance of a normal life and fucked off to go lie around in the streets all day.

      • notthenameiwant [he/him]
        ·
        4 years ago

        You can't possibly imagine what's being done to me otherwise. I literally experienced a Grand-mal seizure without passing out (a necessity to be classified as a grand mal) a few weeks ago. Everything is fucked in my life.

      • notthenameiwant [he/him]
        ·
        4 years ago

        There's health insurance and that's it. 401K or IRA not included which is insane to me considering the conditions. Guess I'll just finance it myself.