Permanently Deleted
Straight up I'm about to start an 84 hour per week job to save up money. Kill me. I can't do interviews but this shit is 60K a year before taxes. We'll see if I can last. I hate myself for even considering this but I need to consolidate my finances to move to Iran or Cuba.
This is in addition to the 30 minute commute each way. Why the hell is this even a job.
"What's your favorite cartoon bear?"
"I think I'm going to go with ApartheidPoliceState. I really enjoy his half hour lectures on Marxist-Leninism punctuated by repeated calls for honey to offscreen servants. You?"
"I dunno. Yogi, I guess. Or maybe Winnie."
Every day I'm shocked anew that we have to live in this hell and they won't even legalize drugs. Let me go buy magic mushrooms at the gas station, motherfuckers.
I've been kept up in a zombie state for 3 years now. I have literally gotten 4 hours of sleep tops per night every night for the last 3 years (usually less). I can't afford to see a doctor to get meds that will put me to sleep. The last time I went to see a doctor I got put on some blood pressure medicine that worked as well as Melatonin (this was 2 years ago). I don't know what I'm going to do. It's hard for me to even interact with people anymore I'm so tired. My current co-workers and previous bosses still say I'm a "good and hard worker" like it matters at this point. If you can't prove yourself via people skills you don't get the job.
I took this 84 hour per week job today because I'm awake anyway and had all of my friends and family robbed from me. I have no idea if I'm going to be able to cope with 14 hour days 6x days a week. Maybe what I'm making will give me what I need to see a proper doctor to allow me to sleep and make rent. All of this is horrible.
Normally I wouldn't even write something like this, but it's this or a therapist, which comes with waiting times and a price, which I can't afford right now. Fuck me right?
There's health insurance and that's it. 401K or IRA not included which is insane to me considering the conditions. Guess I'll just finance it myself.
Yo that's fucked, comrade. I can't even imagine. I've had my share of sleep troubles in my life, especially induced by stress, but if I get only 4 hours of sleep even one night I can't function properly. In your position, I'd probably have abandoned any semblance of a normal life and fucked off to go lie around in the streets all day.
You can't possibly imagine what's being done to me otherwise. I literally experienced a Grand-mal seizure without passing out (a necessity to be classified as a grand mal) a few weeks ago. Everything is fucked in my life.
Blackout doesn't give a real rest, and you learn that shit real quick. Plus who wants a hangover every morning plus the possibility of still being tipsy at work? Drinking will not give anyone a rest.
Tomorrow I will probably drive over the speed limit on my leftist anarchist tankie trip to get Trader Joe’s Gorgonzola gnocchi (very delicious)
To our glorious benefactors; All cops continue to be bastards, and not just because they uphold a system that requires them to tell the homeless to get out of a park or sidewalk, knowing they have nowhere to go. Not just because they enforce eviction orders in the middle of the worst epidemic and recession, knowing they're actively destabilizing the community they are supposed to "protect". Not just because they know first hand how little the system gives a fuck and is made to produce revenue over a healthy society.
Its because they sold their moral compass to do so, and mercenaries have never deserved respect.
Fuck you pig, quit your job.
Ah, I feel terrible. Not only are online classes a horrible experience all around, but a close friend of almost 20 years is moving 7 hours away tomorrow. He didn’t really tell me or our other friends until a couple days ago... Its not like there’s a lot to discuss but a heads up would’ve been nice. If he wasn’t moving near another group of mutual friends it would feel like he was looking to ghost us...
I really shouldn’t think this shit about him, but all the combined stress of everything going on is a bit much for me. I wanna crawl into a hole and die.
Oof, that's rough. Maybe he didn't want to make a big thing about it? That's the kind of crap I'd pull
He told me he didn’t want to talk much about it until things were more set in stone, which I understand. It’s still kinda tough to process for some reason though idk.
Does anyone else suffer from a strange fear that if you say a good thing aloud, it'll be taken away from you? I think... maybe... things in my life are improving, for the first time in a long while. But I'm afraid to tell anyone that. It seems like the world likes to shit on me right when I get my hopes up.
Superstition is unscientific, you should go full witch doctor if you actually believe in spirits
like the crosssitch subreddit? why are libs so determined to ruin the art form
