He's the perfect pick. Grown in a lab just for this moment:

White, handsome, accomplished astronaut, unknown politics, and he defuses the Trump assassination attempt narrative.

It's the third time I've seen something about Kelly on social media in the last day. Which is weird, since I didn't know he existed until today.

  • FlakesBongler [they/them]
    ·
    4 months ago

    I wonder what Trump is going to call him

    Moon man?

    Space case?

    There's options here

      • SchillMenaker [he/him]
        ·
        4 months ago

        The president who created the US Space Force might be in a uniquely week position on that front. Easier to just call him Baldy.

        • FlakesBongler [they/them]
          ·
          4 months ago

          Remember how everyone thought the Space Force was unnecessary we shouldn't have it to the point where they made a Netflix show about how bad of an idea it was?

          I just had a Space Force recruiter approach me outside of the gym

          It's normal now, people like it

          Trump will probably make fun of Kelly for not being in the Space Force

          • SchillMenaker [he/him]
            ·
            4 months ago

            You're telling me that the military didn't turn away more funding and administrative bloat? I'm shocked.

            "Our mission is to defend satellites from attack."

            "How?"

            wojak-nooo

    • GVAGUY3 [he/him]
      ·
      4 months ago

      I have no idea. He seems to be at a loss at the moment as for what to call his enemies now.

      • Frank [he/him, he/him]
        ·
        4 months ago

        My libs are making a great deal of this, claiming that Trump had no plan for Biden stepping down and will now lose because this is somehow a crippling blow to his campaign. Yeah, sure, maybe, but also how do you maintain that level of cope for so long? idfk, libs are awful.

      • LocalOaf [they/them, ze/hir]
        ·
        4 months ago

        I know I'm almost certainly wrong here, but for some reason I feel like attacking an astronaut whose wife got shot by a deranged right wing crank especially after Trump just got shot at could really backfire for him. He got away with going after McCain because even Average American kind of knows subconsciously that the Vietnam War was a horrible debacle and that kissing the ass of an admiral's pilot failson that repeatedly crashed and got shot down on a mission he volunteered for to bomb a civilian lightbulb factory is bullshit.

        It's the same reason Trump was able to weather the hit in the 2016 primaries of having the entire media turn on him when crossed the red line of admitting the Iraq War was a disaster that never should have happened and gave Jeb a wedgie and said W was a fuckup that let 9/11 happen, even flag waving Republican primary voters implicitly had metabolized that Iraq and the GWoT were bullshit make-work projects for the MiC that left millions dead/displaced/maimed/traumatized.

        I feel like Average American isn't nearly as soured against astronauts as they are against the military, and Mark Kelly is so perfectly bland that I feel like there isn't really a handhold for Trump to dig in against him with some nickname or scandal narrative. Did Trump ever even bother going after Tim Kaine in 2016? Literally the only thing I remember about that guy is he was an anti-abortion Democrat and he plays the harmonica.