14 fucking years undercover as a chef. In Paris. That dastardly kgb

  • Awoo [she/her]
    ·
    edit-2
    1 month ago

    The 40-year-old man was arrested during a raid of his apartment in central Paris on Sunday where a document linked to an elite Russian special forces unit operating under the command of the FSB, an heir to the KGB, was reportedly found.

    A document?

    A single document?

    This feels a lot like when they sprinkle crack on a black guy after arresting them.

    Find a russian, raid their place, find a document, make a huge thing of it.

    Prosecutors in Paris said the search of the Russian national’s apartment had been carried out at the request of the French interior ministry.

    Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

    the intelligence services had listened into a call two months ago between the individual and a Russian intelligence services handler in which the suspect had stated that “the French are going to have an opening ceremony like there has never been before”.

    Did he have a long thin moustache that he twirled around his fingers while he said that?

    • yoink [she/her]
      ·
      1 month ago

      the intelligence services had listened into a call two months ago between the individual and a Russian intelligence services handler in which the suspect had stated that “the French are going to have an opening ceremony like there has never been before”.

      he then went on to say that the opening ceremony was 'going to be the bomb', and that 'the audience's minds would be blown', and when pressed further he said that he heard that the French were going to have 'the biggest blowout in history', all clear signs of terrorist intent

    • Frogmanfromlake [none/use name]
      ·
      1 month ago

      They’re serious. They had some B-movie scriptwriter come and concoct something out of a cheap spy thriller.

  • thelastaxolotl [he/him]
    ·
    1 month ago

    its 100% the fall guy for their big fuck ups on the first day like how some australian participans got robbed, and that riot on the futboll game

    • plinky [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      1 month ago

      I’m just baffled what exactly private chef can do? Poison macron? Who eats russian chef food? The fuck is this shit

      • thelastaxolotl [he/him]
        ·
        1 month ago

        macron's big plan are is just going to blame putin for all the problems they will have, like all the low security, how parisian are pissed, etc.

      • ped_xing [he/him]
        ·
        1 month ago

        Are you forgetting a little documentary called Under Siege?

  • glans [it/its]
    ·
    1 month ago

    (All the block quotes below are contiguous in the original article; it is an insane series of paragraphs.)

    The intelligence services had tracked him for months. They picked up on his alleged phone call to his handler in May during at a time when he was returning from a trip to Istanbul to his home in Paris.

    He missed his flight due to excessive alcohol consumption and instead returned via Bulgaria, at which point the conversation about the Olympics opening ceremony was monitored, according to Le Monde.

    He was SO DRUNK he couldn't get on a plane. Either he didn't get to the airport or they wouldn't let him board.

    If there is one thing I know about being SO DRUNK you can't get your basic shit done, it's that this is the perfect time to hatch a nefarious and totally real plots. Idk about you all but I actually plan my best big time crimes when I am super hammered.

    And I always follow through.

    At 6am on Sunday, police officers from the elite ‘research and intervention brigade (BRI), called in by the General Directorate of Internal Security, raided the suspect’s home on Rue Saint-Denis on the right bank of the Seine. It is claimed that the police found “documents of diplomatic interest” among his possessions.

    Last month Microsoft said Russia was seeking to undermine the Olympics with the creation of fake websites replicating authentic French media outlets and the use of artificial intelligence to fuel concern about violence and terrorism.

    like irishtimes.com?

    The French interior minister, Gérald Darmanin, said this week that authorities had screened over one million people ahead of the games.

    wtf does that mean

    “We are here to ensure that sport is not used for espionage, cyberattacks or to criticise and sometimes even lie about France and the French,” Darmanin said. - The Guardian

    now it's a crime to use sport to criticize the French?!

    fuck. so much for my EPIC rhythmic gymnastics direct action.

    • DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml
      ·
      1 month ago

      This is actually really fucking scary. It means the feds know that there will be an increase in right wing violence and terror throughout Europe in the coming years and are priming the people to pretend it is all secretly Russians in disguise.

    • plinky [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      1 month ago

      Putin be like: hey, mr. intelligence chief, haven’t we got sleeper cell in haute cuisine in paris?

      Yeah, he needs to make some real shitty food.

      No, to fuck with olympics, who gives a shit about weapons

    • Teekeeus [comrade/them]
      ·
      edit-2
      1 month ago

      P*tin wants to kill French people

      remember those frog mercenaries that got roasted by a russian strike?

  • jackmarxist [any]
    ·
    1 month ago

    Literally just prosecution for being of Russian Origin.

  • HotAtForty [he/him]
    ·
    1 month ago

    He was going to serve cider after 4pm and use cheddar instead of emmental in the croque madam