CW: Alcoholism, binge drinking, blackouts
spoiler
I've spoken before about having a parent with serious alcoholism problems before here somewhere, but I personally relapsed after trying to get sober for awhile and feel really shitty about it. I got wasted early in the day, and then went through shit I had to get done at home drunk around 3-ish throughout the day and just kept taking a gluggluglugglug kind of swig from an 80 proof bottle after each chore, and eventually ended up going to bed early, then woke up completely confused and thinking I was in my back yard instead of my bedroom for some reason and it took me like 10 minutes to figure out where I was while being scared and pathetic and alone. I don't want to fucking be like this anymore. I've been to AA meetings before and was really offput by the weird pseudo-Calvinist shit and would appreciate some kind of secular and preferable left-friendly options for getting sober because I'm in really bad shape mentally right now and don't really have any faith in the typical avenues where people go to when they want to get help.
I'm sure people will jump in to say this is probably not the best suggestion and I don't think this is true for everyone, but if you aren't prone to abusing pain killers taking a moderate dose of Kratom twice a day does wonders for killing my urge to drink, like almost completely shuts off the impulse. I've had a friend claim he was addicted to the stuff but I genuinely don't see how you even get to that point, I saw almost no tolerance build up after most of a year and it makes me nauseous/drowsy if I take too much.
I tried kratom before as an anxiety mitigator from a local head shop and remember thinking it was good at dulling the higher end of my panicky impulses and tendencies to catastrophize but didn't seem to do a lot in my "normal" range beyond making me feel slightly calmer. Fwiw, I tried capsules, and I think they were a "red" variety/strain? I don't really know the ins and outs of the differences, but have heard from people trying to quit opioids that kratom tea works better than capsules, so that might be an option. Thanks, I think I'll give that another try and see how it effects the urge.
A word of caution because Kratom can also be addicting, but it's still probably a step up. Good luck!
Thank you
I get the blend of the different varieties from here and just shake it up in orange juice or chocolate almond milk (dairy milk gets too frothy), which are both supposed to help boost the effects, but putting it in capsules does make it a lot easier to get down. When I'm taking it regularly I usually go with one large scoop in the morning and another around dinner, but you should take it with food to prevent nausea.
https://viablekratom.com/shop/kratom-powder/full-spectrum-blend-2/