CW: Alcoholism, binge drinking, blackouts
spoiler
I've spoken before about having a parent with serious alcoholism problems before here somewhere, but I personally relapsed after trying to get sober for awhile and feel really shitty about it. I got wasted early in the day, and then went through shit I had to get done at home drunk around 3-ish throughout the day and just kept taking a gluggluglugglug kind of swig from an 80 proof bottle after each chore, and eventually ended up going to bed early, then woke up completely confused and thinking I was in my back yard instead of my bedroom for some reason and it took me like 10 minutes to figure out where I was while being scared and pathetic and alone. I don't want to fucking be like this anymore. I've been to AA meetings before and was really offput by the weird pseudo-Calvinist shit and would appreciate some kind of secular and preferable left-friendly options for getting sober because I'm in really bad shape mentally right now and don't really have any faith in the typical avenues where people go to when they want to get help.
not uncommon! it could just be that it's not for you. or it could be that you overshot a bit and ended up too high. you could try indica-dominant strains* which tend more towards a sedate body high. personally i smoke (vape actually) a lot of pot, to the point where it barely impacts me at all anymore. not exactly a ringing endorsement for a fun-time drug but as far as daily vices go it's probably one of the easier ones to manage** and i rarely suffer paranoia from it (though i used to quite badly).
eyyyy samesies~
sounds like you've got the root cause pinned! unfortunately i can't offer anything but well wishes when it comes to overcoming anxiety. but i do wish you the best of luck! self-improvement isn't fun but it is worthwhile.
*
*there's nerd controversy over how useful these labels are but
** i would warn that while it won't "make you lazy" it can make you comfortable with the idea of not being productive, which can be good! it can also be bad, as i'm sure you can imagine. just something to be wary of if that's a path you take
Shit, sorry I didn't reply, my inbox had a bunch of notifications because I've been Extremely Online™️ today and have been bad about going through them. I've never quite been a stoner and mostly just smoked occasionally with friends when they offered but I did remember preferring indica and some hybrid my one friend had that was really nice. I went to a Smash local once with him and my then-bf and we went out for a smoke and hit his vape cart then all sat outside basically doing the Beavis and Butthead laugh and talking about stupid bullshit and lost track of time and all got DQ'd in pools and got roasted by the locals who knew us for coming back clearly stoned out of our minds, hahaha. Aww, that memory kinda cheered me up a little.