Like ??? What's up with that? I was suicidally depressed for like two and a half years, tried killing myself multiple times and now I just go about my business as if that never happened. I legitimately can't remember what I felt like for that time. Like I know I was really depressed and felt really lonely and exhausted but... I have to imagine how that feels because I don't remember? Like what the fuck?
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Backing up what you said about the memory loss also deleting the moments you spent working to crawl out of the hole, I've experienced that.
The other day I was talking to someone about a friend that I've had sort of a falling out with. I was asked why I even regarded them as a friend in the first place. I had to think about it for a while before I realized that this friend was the one that would sit me down and make me eat because I was too depressed to want to feed myself, back when shit was real bad. I had completely forgotten how bad my depression was back then, and it also made me remember the time between then and now that I've actively worked to learn self care.
I'm still below average, but at least I eat healthier and shower and go outside now. I take those little steps for granted now because I actively trained those habits to escape the hole, and the point of habits is that you don't have to think about them.