Like ??? What's up with that? I was suicidally depressed for like two and a half years, tried killing myself multiple times and now I just go about my business as if that never happened. I legitimately can't remember what I felt like for that time. Like I know I was really depressed and felt really lonely and exhausted but... I have to imagine how that feels because I don't remember? Like what the fuck?
I've heard the same, and can support it anecdotally. I've just got no recollection of up to around 15 years old, and everything past that is spotty at best, especially the bits where depression was worse.
super true, i was traumatized by real bad shit as a kid and i have probably like 3 total memories of grade school
i do not remember shit from middle school, and some of elementary. i have vague recollections of early high school. later than that goes better, but i still have holes in traumatic moments.
Same exact thing here. One day i was suicidally depressed and the next day it just WASNT there
Backing up what you said about the memory loss also deleting the moments you spent working to crawl out of the hole, I've experienced that.
The other day I was talking to someone about a friend that I've had sort of a falling out with. I was asked why I even regarded them as a friend in the first place. I had to think about it for a while before I realized that this friend was the one that would sit me down and make me eat because I was too depressed to want to feed myself, back when shit was real bad. I had completely forgotten how bad my depression was back then, and it also made me remember the time between then and now that I've actively worked to learn self care.
I'm still below average, but at least I eat healthier and shower and go outside now. I take those little steps for granted now because I actively trained those habits to escape the hole, and the point of habits is that you don't have to think about them.
Honestly, thankyou for saying this, because I kinda did the same thing many years ago, basically blacked it all out, and I kinda didn't remember any of it until it all came welling back in some weird panic attack a few years ago. I feel significantly less alone.
