I grew up with culture and assumed everyone else had culture. Then I came across a white person who fetishized black and Asian people.

She grew up in America completely without contact with their ancestral tree for generations. I'd sit down, and they'd tell me their DNA is part Asian around 20x before I got up from my seat. She and her entire family looked completely white. That's how far back she was digging.

She's not black by any stretch, but she claimed she couldn't understand white slang because she only speaks black slang... even though she grew up with my also white boyfriend in the same white suburb neighborhood. My boyfriend simply talks like a white person.

She wore cultures as costumes. Like not growing up wearing durags then wearing one at 25 and dressing up in gang colors and lying about being in a gang, growing up in a ultra-rich suburban neighborhood and explaining to my boyfriend what is like to grow up in the hood(you grew up in the same ultra rich suburb shut up!), Buddhist beads(in her chosen gang color) with long "Buddhist nails" when they were cruel and dehumanizing at every chance, and nothing else about them was Buddhist. She is also immunocompromised, but started the pandemic insisting she wear a paisley bandana(also in the gang color) instead of medical masks I gave her a full pack of.

She claims it's distasteful to talk about feeling animosity towards the 1%, but she loves watching videos of black gangs getting shot.

They were constantly trying to look like "an exotic white person." They never realized they are just white and can only be shown around other people's cultures as a guest, but can never become "one of them." Always just as an outsider.

They taught me part of what whiteness was. Because of them I know about people who are white and nothing else.

  • RyanGosling [none/use name]
    ·
    edit-2
    1 month ago

    White suburbanite grows up without any culture. Sees Asian and black culture being celebrated as cool. Clings on to caricaturized versions of said cultures. Many such cases.

    There was a case of some private school trust fund white kid joining the crips. He was the driver during a drive by shooting that killed someone. The black gang bangers got sentenced, but he got probation and went back to school to finish his diploma as if nothing ever happened.

    There are white people (and other races and ethnicities, but the focus here is white) who grow up in mixed/predominant environments and never really “see” whiteness outside of them being a physical minority sometimes. These people normally act indistinguishable as anybody else in the same environment regardless of race. But they also don’t bring attention to that because it’s not really something they ever needed to worth worrying about (unless the environment is truly discriminatory against them).

    Think of the Hoff Twins vs. Chet Hanks. The former grew up and live in rough environments which also happened to be predominately black and that’s the culture they understand and exude. Hanks is a nepo baby of a world renowned hollywood actor who wants to be something he’s not. Another is Slim Jesus. He was a white drill rapper who later admitted he just like guns and the music and that he’s not about that life - usually these types of white people are too delusional to admit that it’s not them.

    • Angel [any]
      ·
      1 month ago

      These kinds of cracKKKers are always baffled when they interact with a black person who isn't like the caricature they've portrayed them as in their mind.

      I may or may not be speaking from experience here.

  • quarrk [he/him]
    ·
    1 month ago

    It sucks waking up one day and realizing you don’t have any meaningful culture, and that your family happily shed whatever culture it immigrated with in order to embrace the American Dream

  • oregoncom [he/him]
    ·
    1 month ago

    IDK Denny's is exotic to me. You can't not have a culture. Theirs is just hegemonic. I assume you grew up in the US so neither you or her notice it. Which means you/your family is basically one or two generations removed from being like her.

    • HexaSnoot [none/use name]
      hexagon
      ·
      edit-2
      1 month ago

      I had trouble thinking of what to say because there are dynasties in my ethnicity's culture. With many cultural traditions centered around the dynasties and the concept of money. My parents are immigrants and my childhood was filled with cultural practices. If I were to say my culture is worth more than a chain restaurant, I'd believe it.

      But the question stands: Where does the hegemonic culture begin and end? What is the answer when capitalism existed in the making of my ethnicity's culture? Where does one end, and another begins?