I wouldve been the best miss andrist (painted nail emoji)

    • queermunist she/her@lemmy.ml
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      3 months ago

      I just felt so bad for both of them! She clearly didn't mean to imply that he was unattractive, but due to his own insecurities he interpreted her that way. Yet, instead of talking it out, he just bottled it up and left! But instead of trying to understand him she couldn't because he was gone and so she went online to air their problems for all of us to argue about. Then people pick sides and shit on one of the two partners for being callous or overreacting, but it's simultaneously true she didn't mean to hurt his feelings and that his feelings and insecurities are valid. But he felt hurt so he retreated into himself and then left to avoid a conflict, and I get it! And she didn't understand because he never explained why he was hurt, and I get that too!

      They hurt each other for no reason and it's just sad, and I'm so mad at people for picking sides and attacking either of them for it.

      fk i made myself cry lol

      • RION [she/her]
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        3 months ago

        I'm glad to see this kind of empathy and grace being extended to the situation. I tried to do so in one of my comments in the original thread but the other one was probably overly combative because I was annoyed at perceived hypocrisy

      • Barabas [he/him]
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        3 months ago

        I’m just confused as to why it got people so entrenched in either side. Clearly it wasn’t very well worded if it has caused as much of a stir as it has (and her friends also agreed that it was) and she didn’t mean to make the compliment backhanded.

        Seems like a pretty open and shut case really, don’t get what it is that causes people to refuse either interpretation as valid.

        • CriticalOtaku [he/him]
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          3 months ago

          My off-the-cuff armchair psycho-analyzing (which very well could be wrong, I'm just some random on the internet) is that particular situation tapped into people's own personal relationship traumas- men feeling like their partner refuses to acknowledge their emotions as valid, women's intentions being misunderstood due to toxic masculinity... and so on. And then once you're in that head-space it really is hard to pull yourself out of it, especially when other people visibly roll up with their support for the other side, which makes you go into a defensive crouch to validate your own position on the matter.

          Will we (collectively, as a community) learn anything from this? Oh hell nah.

        • Egon
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          3 months ago

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          • ElHexo
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            3 months ago

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            • Egon
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              3 months ago

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              • MarxMadness@lemmygrad.ml
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                3 months ago

                then went in with the notion that since they were leftists and have read some theory or other, then everyone disagreeing with them is, at best, uneducated/unknowing

                One of the biggest downsides to the "don't talk to them, dunk on them" approach to dealing with chuds is that it's easy to fall into the same pattern when disagreeing with other leftists. It's also easy to dig in on that approach if someone points out you're being an ass to people who are on your side, which often leads to the extremely productive "oh well if they disagree on [increasingly irrelevant dispute] they're no comrade of mine."

                • Rania 🇩🇿@lemmygrad.ml
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                  edit-2
                  3 months ago

                  With the other leftist critic here is that I felt people where not willing to engage in the "both sides are right/wrong" thing because they're used to centrism being a right wing option, this is not really a political problem unless you go deeply into systematic reasons, it's a relationship issue.

                  • Egon
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                    3 months ago

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          • anarchoilluminati [comrade/them]
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            3 months ago

            I missed it at the time, too, but I read through it and I totally agree with you.

            Thank you for your service on that thread. fidel-salute-big

            • Egon
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              3 months ago

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        • AssortedBiscuits [they/them]
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          3 months ago

          Clearly it wasn’t very well worded if it has caused as much of a stir as it has (and her friends also agreed that it was) and she didn’t mean to make the compliment backhanded.

          It was from R*ddit, meaning it was 100% fiction. Why people were wasting their Sunday arguing over fake Internet shit from R*ddit is beyond me.

          • Belly_Beanis [he/him]
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            3 months ago

            Yup. Even literal pictures and video evidence aren't enough anymore. Nothing you see online is real, especially anonymous posts of text. Wouldn't surprise me at all if it was bait.

        • ElHexo
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          3 months ago

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      • spacecadet [he/him]
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        3 months ago

        This is a beautiful sentiment I'm glad you expressed it, I totally agree with you. It is ultimately tragic.