year we have been broken up now for about 2 and I haven’t talked to her since she said we were better off apart when we split up. I feel guilty about being abusive to her because I go to therapy now and got sober off of the stuff I was addicted to so I feel like an asshole and want to apologize. At the same time I have no feelings for this girl I dislike her and think she mistreated me so like it sucks that I feel so guilty to someone who was also abusive to me. She told me we were better off apart and goodbye. I know I shouldn’t text her but I want too because the guilt grows everyday about what I did. Pls help. Do I apologize? Or is it selfish and just my own ego wanting to feel better and doing it for the wrong reason. Basically I’m asking if I should apologize or just leave her alone.
About a year and a half. We dated for about the same time. have a therapist I talk to this shit about as well that helps. We were emotionally abusive to each other and I didn’t understand what I was doing until I actually went to therapy. She said she had nothing against me and that she wishes me the best And that maybe one day we will be together again or whatever. so I’m not sure if when she said we are better off apart She means it. It’s confusing. I don’t want to be with her or be friends with her. I just feel morally wrong about not when apologizing. Because I bet my scars on her still linger and fuck up her life. The guilt just like grows everyday for what I did. I want to do the right thing but idk if apologizing is. I thought I was doing what she wanted when I went NC with her. But I doubt that more everyday. I have weight on shoulders.
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Honestly when I put myself in her shoes I’d probably be really pissed off that I never apologized at the time but I would’ve moved on by now and let it go. If I was gonna apologize I should’ve done it a long time ago. I think it’s too late now tbh. I would’ve earlier but honestly I thought she wouldn’t want to hear it but now I think like I really just never apologized for being a scumbag and that’s wrong of me.
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the past should stay. Thank you for convincing me so eloquently
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