year we have been broken up now for about 2 and I haven’t talked to her since she said we were better off apart when we split up. I feel guilty about being abusive to her because I go to therapy now and got sober off of the stuff I was addicted to so I feel like an asshole and want to apologize. At the same time I have no feelings for this girl I dislike her and think she mistreated me so like it sucks that I feel so guilty to someone who was also abusive to me. She told me we were better off apart and goodbye. I know I shouldn’t text her but I want too because the guilt grows everyday about what I did. Pls help. Do I apologize? Or is it selfish and just my own ego wanting to feel better and doing it for the wrong reason. Basically I’m asking if I should apologize or just leave her alone.
Do you think maybe it's a good idea to write a letter and then never send it? Like, old-school pen and paper (this takes away the risk of accidentally hitting send in a moment of weakness). Just be brutally honest and write it all down. Address the version of her that still lives inside of you rather than the one out there. Just as a tool for reflection and a means of closure. I don't know, this wouldn't work for everyone, but it might.
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