The quiz will take your responses and, on the back end, give you values for certain personality traits based on them, and those values have to fall within a certain range of acceptable scores for each personality trait for you to get a call back. The most common personality traits that these quizes test for are extroversion (they want someone who is extroverted, but not too extroverted), agreeableness (they want someone who won't start an argument or speak their mind), organization, and in service industry jobs, what you think about stealing.

just tell em that you'll eat their pig schlop and that you're a team player and stuff

Maybe do the opposite of what you've been doing and see if that works?