'what have I done

To deserve

This flat, flavorless Manhattan'

  • fat Tony
  • LocalOaf [they/them]
    ·
    17 days ago

    They're playing the elephant song on the radio! yells-at-cloud

    bannin I like that song. Reminds me of elephants.

    • GalaxyBrain [they/them]
      ·
      17 days ago

      We can’t bust heads like we used to—but we have our ways. One trick is to tell them stories that don’t go anywhere like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so I decided to go to Morganville which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So, I tied an onion to my belt which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel. And in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ‘em. ‘Give me five bees for a quarter,’ you’d say. Now, where were we? Oh, yeah! The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones.”

      • LocalOaf [they/them]
        ·
        17 days ago

        I've wanted a belt buckle of The Onion's logo for years now because of that scene

        • GalaxyBrain [they/them]
          ·
          17 days ago

          I work kitchens and have ties big yellow onions to my belt on several occasions. It does kinda look cool

      • GalaxyBrain [they/them]
        ·
        17 days ago

        I can improv my own Abe Simpson rants and have been practing since I was 12. I can also do Mr burns no problem. I really like turn of the Century verbiage

    • GalaxyBrain [they/them]
      ·
      17 days ago

      Isn't thar what we're all asking in our lives? 'Where's my elephant?' This reporter is