Coppola sold his vineyard to finance this.

LMAO.

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Culture is America's greatest export

The Pilgrim's Progress has more subtlety

This is the biggest budget film Shia LaBeouf has been in for the last 10 years and it’s complete garbage, his career is cooked

Ugh, I guess this is what I get for wishing for "anything but capeshit sequels" on that monkey paw...

You weren't kidding, this sounds like what you get when you train an LLM on Ayn Rand and then give as the prompt