Look at those fat Canadian dipshits, just waddling around, scaring children & shitting on the sidewalk. Truly admirable work, but they should still be available for public consumption. 1 in 6 Americans are facing food insecurity and food deserts and these sky deer are running around parking lots like they don't have predators to worry about. Because they dont.
I understand we cant just let every stupid fuck with a gun go wild at your local sump pond; Which I why I propose installation of WiFi enabled public goose traps near all drainage ditches & retention pools. This way you don't wait to wait all day in a hunting blind outside Walgreens, but can simply check your Güser™️ app for the closest available bird. The trap will release the bird for you as soon as you swipe your local library card into the reader, promoting literacy, allowing the homeless to have first dibs, and making sure your town is only sourcing local ducks, preventing goose runs & hording.
"But Zoift" I hear to object, "I dont want to eat geese that are full of my local landfill's runoff."
First off, fuck you, microplastics build strong glands. Second, just catch one & grain feed it for a week to flush out the gut and you're looking at some primo bird. After simmering them for stock, the bones can be returned to the source, ensuring a steady flow of calcium back to the environment for future egg production & to help the secondary possum industry.
This is completely unironic, i want to eat those geese and i don't understand why nobody else has yet.
They'd already be putting it in Tim Hortons breakfast sandwiches if those feckless Canadians had any gumption
https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2011/10/my-first-helping-of-canada-goose/246881/
https://www.vice.com/en/article/d75n8z/we-should-be-eating-more-canadian-geese
https://www.gq.com/story/the-case-for-eating-goose
https://www.foxnews.com/us/pa-food-bank-director-would-welcome-ny-goose-meat
Nearly 1,700 Canada geese were rounded up and gassed last year. This year the goose meat will be sent to Pennsylvania food banks.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2022964/Canada-geese-overrun-parks-Top-chefs-answer-turn-dinner.html
Fuck yes, im not alone. Excellent research. Im promoting you to municipal Bird Czar.
Communism and killing lots of birds, name a better match.
Mao's real mistake was not serving up those sparrows on a bed of greens.
AMERICA IS DOING BIRD HOLOCAUST
AMERICA IS DOING BIRD HOLOCAUST
AMERICA IS DOING BIRD HOLOCAUST
IF THE INDUSTRIAL PARK BANS ME FOR EATING THE GEESE, I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL
I've skinned and butchered a few deer and a bear now. It's pretty rough and you probably wont eat for the next few hours after doing it... but it did teach me a lot and I have more respect for the craft now. There's this weird point where you're doing it and it changes suddenly between a dead animal and cuts of meat you can recognize. It's neat but... unsettling.
Also watching stuff like this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVJXIF8SiJI
There’s this weird point where you’re doing it and it changes suddenly between a dead animal and cuts of meat you can recognize
That's just reality buffering.
Comrade, do you not see the Goose as our ally in the struggle against fascism and capitalism? The Goose does not bend to the will of its "superiors." It does not tolerate harassment of its community. It does not recognize ownership or have leaders. They take turns leading flights. They have sympathy, compassion, fierce determination, and are intelligent.
We should all strive to be like Comrade Goose.
I see the decorations of the bourgeoisie flapping around a bunch of sterile curated lawns and asphalt lava flows. Geese have no internal cooperation, only a mad feudal struggle for nesting rights and hissing competitions.
Just try to fuck with the geese at a park. Individually they'll puff up and honk & try to batter you with their little wing-bone notches, but there's no team effort, no communal defense, no sense of camaraderie. Just an individualistic struggle for dominance over the mosquito infested waters of your local sump pond. Geese are lumpen, at best.
I propose that we allow each captured goose a stay of execution and immediately release it back into the wild based on its response to "honk if Thatcher's dead."
I am generally against capturing comrades for show trials, but, as a liberal, I'll allow it in the spirit of compromise.
Canada gooses helps the people that's been stolen from.
Real shit, though....people are probably fucking terrible for your digestive system.
with all due respect geese are my friends and i am going to help them beat your ass, please dont post slanderous things about geese on chapo dot chat
They sealed their fate when they harassed me for cornchips & gave me a good look at those flight muscles in the process.
Ever since then the urge lives in the back of my mind, tickling my reptile brain: "You're definitely edible, well fed & probably tasty, and you wont ever expect me to try shit". I totally understand why horny scurvacious sailors went ham on penguins now.
I totally understand why horny scurvacious sailors went ham on penguins now.
wait, what?
Sailors love being horny, getting scurvy because they think fruit is icky, and clubbing the shit out of defenseless birds.
I don't really understand the question I guess. This is all very straightforward.
