Yeah, being in contact with someone you’re brokenhearted about is torture. I did that for a couple years after my college partner broke things off.

After we had a good amount of time and geographical distance, and I moved on and dated new people, we were able to rekindle a healthy friendship. It helps that I’m in a great healthy relationship with a guy I love and that my ex is trans and embraced her gender and I’m straight (although at the height of our romance I would’ve been with her no matter her gender).

Now I have a great friend and there’s zero pining. I wouldn’t have thought it possible 5 years ago, but things change.

There’s a special kind of emotional closeness in those friendships, they’ve usually seen you without the mask you put on for the world so you can be real with them. They’re also a great source for perspective with your new relationships - they know you’re habits and pitfalls - but don’t ask unless you’re ready to hear it lol