I just read this https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886916302690 and I'm like woah am I toxic uh oh
How does the bit go?
"No difference at all between good and bad things. You moron. You fucking imbecile"
That shit would have been typed halfway through comprehending their statement and sent by the end of it were it me in your shoes.
Then again, whenever I have a lefty rant up on Youtube my (once lib but now Roganite/politically apathetic) ex will say things like "holy crap it's you" so I guess nobody would bat much of an eye at me going off about my politics. The amount of energy I threw into the void arguing for the Dems should have put me on someone's payroll
o7 to calmer minds prevailing, picking my battles is something I still work on
I was gonna say, this sounds suspiciously like Evolutionary Psych garbage.
yeah, this article is insane. I can't imagine liking someone enough to date them but not enough to want to maintain some kind of relationship with them afterwards (unless the relationship was really toxic/abusive). I've only managed to maintain a decent relationship with one ex but I've absolutely tried with all of them.
It all depends on why the relationship ended in the first place, IMHO. My ex is absolutely my best friend nowadays. The thing is, our relationship ended because the passion and physical aspect just died. We were not attracted to each other anymore, we were more like siblings than a couple, especially since she spent a lot of time with me and my parents at my family's home.
So... things just kind of transitioned towards us having a friendship like none other that I've ever had in my life. There's no attraction or sexual tension between us, just an incredibly deep feeling of trust and respect. I'm an only child, but what I have with her is what I expect what it would feel like to have a sister. She's married now and I was the best man at her wedding. Her husband is a great guy, and I treat her son like a nephew. I don't know. I feel really lucky, to be honest.
She's my only true ex, though, so who knows if that'll ever happen to me again. All my other relationships were short-lived, but I'm on friendly terms with all of them. Is that weird? I'm very non-confrontational.
I'm gay. I was with my ex-wife for roughly 10 years before I came out and ended it. We are actually still friends. She is easily one of my closet and most trusted friends.
I personally see no issue with maintaining connections with an ex, as long as both parties are mature enough to avoid old pitfalls.
this is queer culture. we are almost always friends with our exes lmao
it really is a queer culture thing. its hard to find people that are ok with you being you, i aint gonna cut someone out unless theyre toxic
Yeah, being in contact with someone you’re brokenhearted about is torture. I did that for a couple years after my college partner broke things off.
After we had a good amount of time and geographical distance, and I moved on and dated new people, we were able to rekindle a healthy friendship. It helps that I’m in a great healthy relationship with a guy I love and that my ex is trans and embraced her gender and I’m straight (although at the height of our romance I would’ve been with her no matter her gender).
Now I have a great friend and there’s zero pining. I wouldn’t have thought it possible 5 years ago, but things change.
There’s a special kind of emotional closeness in those friendships, they’ve usually seen you without the mask you put on for the world so you can be real with them. They’re also a great source for perspective with your new relationships - they know you’re habits and pitfalls - but don’t ask unless you’re ready to hear it lol
If you want to, okay, but 90% of the time "being friends" actually means "biding my time until I can make a move on them again" for one or the other and that sort of dishonesty is just no good to anyone.
Would you want to date someone who still talks to their ex? I can only be friends with an ex until they get a new boyfriend, if we were at all serious. It would feel wrong to keep talking to them when they have a boyfriend.
Why would it feel wrong? Unless either of you thought there was a possibility that you were going to steal them back, what's the wrong part?
It seems like people cheat with their exes a lot, is all. Like, someone is way more likely to cheat with their ex than with any random other person.
So long as the relationship did not end in a bad way I can't see why not.
It doesn't work. Except for the times it does. Highly not suggested by most mental health professionals.
I have one good friend, and it's my ex. I don't think I've ever left a relationship on bad terms.
This ex and I lived together for a couple of years before splitting up, so I'm closer to her than anyone else.
Just be honest about what you want and things tend to work out. She was the best man at my wedding and is still my bestie today.
