Why yes I did finally make an account here just to whine about my personal problems.
I’m not sure if I’m actually acespec or not but I feel very uncomfortable with the cultural assumption that men are incredibly horny at all times and are constantly looking to bang. I’m not comfortable with the idea of having sex with someone unless I’m already in a trusting, comfortable relationship with them, and I think I’d be fine never having sex at all. I’m definitely not looking to date for the purpose of having sex (which is some or most people’s motivation for a relationship apparently??). I’m now very self conscious of being seen as a weirdo for not trying to bed dates within 48 hours of meeting them. Unironically can we hold hands instead?
Anecdotally, I'm a mostly straight guy and I feel the same way, and when I was using dating apps was running into the same problem. Idk, sex with someone that I'm not already intimately involved with isn't really something that comes easily, but maybe that's just my personal anxieties.
yeah, this was tough for me before transition and I had more than a couple of dates get offended, thinking I was low-key insulting their attractiveness. but I also don't want to take this comparison too far as, for me, one of the underlying reasons for the discomfort was being trans and not actually being attracted to women in the first place. regardless, it's a real thing, it sucks, and I'm sorry.
Why yes I did finally make an account here just to whine about my personal problems.
I’m not sure if I’m actually acespec or not but I feel very uncomfortable with the cultural assumption that men are incredibly horny at all times and are constantly looking to bang. I’m not comfortable with the idea of having sex with someone unless I’m already in a trusting, comfortable relationship with them, and I think I’d be fine never having sex at all. I’m definitely not looking to date for the purpose of having sex (which is some or most people’s motivation for a relationship apparently??). I’m now very self conscious of being seen as a weirdo for not trying to bed dates within 48 hours of meeting them. Unironically can we hold hands instead?
deleted by creator
Anecdotally, I'm a mostly straight guy and I feel the same way, and when I was using dating apps was running into the same problem. Idk, sex with someone that I'm not already intimately involved with isn't really something that comes easily, but maybe that's just my personal anxieties.
yeah, this was tough for me before transition and I had more than a couple of dates get offended, thinking I was low-key insulting their attractiveness. but I also don't want to take this comparison too far as, for me, one of the underlying reasons for the discomfort was being trans and not actually being attracted to women in the first place. regardless, it's a real thing, it sucks, and I'm sorry.