hi this is basically the only place i feel comfortable sharing my inner stuff i wouldnt usually say to anyone so emh lol read if you want
i dont like listening to music. i almost never do. i was a bit shocked when i learned people listen to it all the time in the background. i have almost no musical taste and i always listen to pretty weird songs as a result (my most searched music thing on yt is probably "vsauce music"). i know it isnt a real issue and i can do whatever i want but i feel like im missing out or im being left out, idk.
i also almost never read. i dont know what was the last book i read on my own. i also see people who read a lot and have a huge literary culture and all but i really dont do any of it. as a result im not the best at expressing myself through language and i have very low attention spans when reading books and i cant get lost easily. the last book i might have read was the great gatsby which was for school, i only read like 7 chapters and i needed to be aided by an audiobook to follow along. in the end watching the movie i just saw i didnt understand much at all after all. teachers really wanted me to read more but i really didnt liek it so it always feels like a joke to me when people tell me to read this or that book.
i also have some issues with studying properly and assimilating school stuff, everybody at my age probably has a solidified method to study and learn but i kinda dont. i just read until i remember it.
i also dont really have a lot of... stuff in general i do. i dont have anything that qualifies really as a hobby. i didnt do sports, i dont draw. i really dont like going outside of my house. i mostly browse the internet and chill. im fine with this really but i cant avoid the feeling that im missing out and that i behave too lethargically; ideally i'd stay home sleeping all day or just watching videos/talking to friends/posting but it's fine with me. i just feel like im missing out on better stuff. (i do not think i am depressed. i was a year or so ago, now not really anymore)
i dont really have a lot of friends? lately it's getting better since i managed to see people at physical school for some weeks. this summer i felt like i had no irl friends, 5-6 people online i talk to regularly and one best friend i've never met face to face, so it's really not a lot. people at school didnt dislike me but i felt like they arent really friends but just very kind people. but lately it's gotten better since i got more of my personality more and people like me for that and since we managed to connect more after school without me having to leave my house by chatting on discord playing among us.
i was abroad for a while last year and a person there told me i should test for autism or adhd idk lol. thanks for reading my rant
If you don't mind saying, what kind of music have you tried listening to (both likes and dislikes), and what specific characteristics in music to you like/dislike and why?
As an example, I definitely have ADHD and I'm pretty into EDM/electronic music but I only really like certain genres and styles. One of the main electronic music genres I listen to is Drum & Bass, and I like it mainly because its very fast paced and focuses heavily on breakbeats and heavy basslines, which I guess I find particularly stimulating as someone with ADHD. A lot of the songs in the genre (and a lot of the music I listen to in general) focus pretty heavily on sound design as well, which I personally like to day dream about movie scenes, music videos, landscapes, etc. that would fit the music while I listen to it. I particularly like sounds that are either ambient, or are very electric/bass-heavy/growly (doesn't sound quite the same, but imagine a foghorn lol).
Also, some of the music I like for more practical reasons: I like certain Drum & Bass styles, as well as House/Techno because they provide a steady and simple groove that makes it easy to use as background noise while I do work, and I like mallsoft/chillwave/vaporwave because it helps to relax me when I'm trying to focus or chill out.
As you said, it's not really an issue to not be into music, but from your post and your comments you do seem to have a preference towards more sort of ambient music, which implies to me at least that you do have a taste in music, just not necessarily one you've explored or really place any emphasis on (which is fine of course, I'm just wondering if you may not necessarily be listening to music you'd like, and thats why you say you don't like music).
thanks for the comment
i meant to say that i dont listen to music liek toher people do, so really popular stuff is completely out of my radar and i feel a bit meh about it. i dont listen to music often, i sometiems seee something suggested on youtube and click it for a bit and then go back to silent.
if you want to know i was listening to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPJDB8zQ2J8&list=PLoQfbV08v8BxCLy7x9fx0RCf9rAC7IhiS&index=3 becuase it gives me a cool vibe. i wasnt joking when i say i search "vsauce music playlist", it's full of that sort of stuff plus it gives me nostalgia (even though i've seen ppl criticize the guy on this website >:c ) and it helped me out when i was in a bad moment some time ago.
some times i listen to some other music because of the vibe it gives me or becuase i've heard of it online; i like jojo's and they do a lot of music references, for example i listen to this which is a pretty kickass song which gives masculine vibes which i sometimes want despite my gender
other than that idk im sorry, i just feel like i dont experience life normally or in the best way
Yeah I get that. I listened to popular stuff for a bit back in middle school, mainly because it was on the radio, but around the same time I discovered electronic music through my dad's Pandora stations, and then just kind of got sucked in through YouTube/soundcloud algorithm recommendations and looking through Wikipedia articles on music I was interested in.
That's fine, and the music you linked was pretty cool actually (though not stuff I'd personally go out of my way to listen to), I just found the idea of someone not really being into music somewhat fascinating as I'm someone who's constantly listening to music. Granted, I guess a lot of the time I'm listening to music as a coping mechanism for my ADHD, and not purely for enjoyment, so I'm probably not experiencing life normally either lol.