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https://nypost.com/2024/12/07/us-news/noose-tightening-on-unitedhealthcare-ceo-brian-thompsons-suspected-killer-eric-adams/

The New York Post is a shitty source but it's what google gave me.

  • InevitableSwing [none/use name]
    ·
    4 days ago

    Oh, man. I hope this happens at a press conference....

    "...And so we know his name. I will share it with you. His name is John Doe."

    There's a pregnant pause the reporters look perplexed. An enterprising reporter way in the back yells "HIS NAME IS LITERALLY JOHN DOE?!"

    The mayor gets mad at being yelled at. "What did I just say? You heard me. His name is John Doe..." The mayor continues to berate the "fifth-rate alt media hack in the back".

    Another clever reporter furiously checked Wikipedia for an easy way to reach the mayor's muddled mind. Before he starts his next sentence - she sort of yells at him: "Wikipedia says that 'John Doe is a placeholder names when the true name of a person is unknown or is being intentionally concealed.' Is this John Doe actually named John Doe? For real?"

    The mayor is about to lecture her too but stops himself and is clearly befuddled. "John Doe is... It's... His name... John Doe is..." Clears throat. "John Doe is his code name that we in law enforcement are using..."