Removed by modNSFW
As you can see from the shape of their skulls,
Removed by modNSFWI thought this was really fucking funny, looking at it on my phone at work.
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There is something about infantilising young adults that really irks me up. They have one of the strongest urge to shake things up and enact changes and fight injustices, these people are able to make their mind, make choices and able to own up to them.
Now for the sleeping with them part, I completely agree on it, there is a power dynamic about sleeping with somebody much younger than you, and also, what do you find attractive with someone where their goals and environment is much different than yours, and I may add, less "experienced" than you? All of that just say abusive to me.
I had a semi relationship with a much older woman when I was in my early 20s, and now I wonder what was she seeking in that?
I feel like it’s either people of a similar age that don’t want to feel like they are kids anymore because they are finally technically adults or like you said older men who don’t see anything weird or wrong with it.
when i was 19-20 i was vociferous about this tbh, spent so many years not being allowed to do shit then internet strangers say 'oh no, you actually aren't a person still' pissed me right off. after being over 21 i wouldn't want to date someone under that because the social scene is so different, but i'm still pretty sympathetic to wanting to be able to express autonomy that way.
100%. These are fundamental power dynamics and coercive forces at play.
for what it's worth, the brain thing is not backed up by science and doesn't need to be the crux of this argument. it's about power dynamics due to qualitatively and quantitatively differing social experiences/life exposure. a first year undergrad isn't a real adult the same way a 25 year old is, but that's not primarily because of brain development.
I actually just edited my comment to adjust that part, haha, based on seeing your comments elsewhere. I admit, that was a misconception I had, but I stand by the social development and power dynamics at play making it fundamentally coercive.
we're in total agreement! just think the argument stands on its own and doesn't need that pseudoscientific angle, though I realise it's still a very common belief so I get it.
Appreciate it, always love to learn something new, even if an argument is made with good intentions, shaky foundations are just holes bad actors can (in this case, correctly) point out to weaken the actual argument that as you say, stands on its own foundations without the shaky argument added. For that reason I am appreciative that you pointed it out to me!
Don't need the stuff about brain development, it's all about social power dynamics
i totally agree with you but just for what it's worth the "brain fully develops at 25" thing is a myth. totally agree that 19yos aren't in the same category as a 25yo adult though, I think that's plain to see and agree seeing folks pushing back on that especially regarding sex and dating is very disturbing.
yeah, i still totally agree that at 19 you're essentially still a high schooler and the line for Real Adult is realistically a good few years later. grosses me out too.
No you're not wrong, I just was like
because I'm a he/him.Have to agree, anyone under 25 is a hard no from me. Even if they're the ones trying to initiate, it just feels weird.
I kind of have a controversial opinion on this subject, so I only have one thing to say
spoiler
Power dynamics
I’m in my late 20s, and the idea of having sex with an 18 or 19 year old or really anyone under 21 makes my skin crawl. Those are children, it feels gross to even think about, even though they are technically adults.
I don’t even mean this to limit the abilities of young adults, I think the drinking and voting ages should both be lower, I trust young adults to do good work and make important decisions. But a sexual or romantic relationship? Ew, no, wtf. The inherent power dynamic of that age gap, plus the difference in life and relationship experience, it very much makes me go
at the older person. Like, why do you want to be with someone that much younger than you? What does that say about you?Gross, don’t like it. Don’t think I really added anything that hadn’t already been said here but still.
I find it very funny when there's a back & forth and someone replies only to say "disengage" like you could just not reply? I know why it's there & it's function in our rules but sometimes it looks like someone saying "I feel harassed" because they're losing an argument.
There's no shame in it, and it respectfully lets the other party know not to expect a reply. Many do just not reply, but there is a genuine functional role played by the "disengage" rule.
I think it's to stop other people from replying too. Or at least I wouldn't respond to someone if they did that.
Drawing hard lines in the sand based on what's relatively arbitrarily decided as legal as a means to excuse predation is horrible behavior. It's the worst kind of debatebroism, you hinge your argument on flimsy and arbitrary grounds just to excuse preying on someone with far less social power and experience, it's unnecessary and disgusting behavior. The fact is, 18 is relatively arbitrary, and if you look at the literal seconds between 17 and 18, there is nothing qualitatively changing except the legal definition, the power dynamics are still just as valid as they were prior. Social development happens in real time, not by legal decree, sane with power dynamics.
Deeply predatory behavior to pretend power dynamics are suddenly okay to accept just because there is a legal basis for it, without analyzing what's actually going on when someone older attempts relations with someone "barely legal."
Ok this is fucking weird. This is a completely different thread than the one I saw that was having some of the same reactions. @CARCOSA or whoever is on duty needs to drop that motherfucking ban hammer on these "ackshually it's ephibophilia" motherfuckers.
Every 5 years or so I feel like I am in a completely different stage of life. I don't even think i could be friends with someone that young in the same way I'm friends with people my age.
What do you even talk about with someone who's at such a different level?
the law, famously something that aligns perfectly with morality all the time. it's fair to complain that it's tired discourse but sorry a 30yo dating a 19yo just isn't ok lol
i mean you are definitely verging on "it's not technically pedophilia because age of consent says so" fair enough you didn't issue a value judgement so I shouldn't have put words in your mouth sorry. but you're acting like it's a settled matter because of the law.
My impression was that the first poster was <19, which would be funny.
Is the guy a lot older???
and i am fucking deathly tired of seeing this pro-pedo rhetoric here
