Idk, I just work, go home, sleep, work again. I'm more financially stable than most people my age working for minimum wage, having been able to save by living with my parents, and that gives me motivation to get up and keep doing this every day.
But, I guess it's still not enough in the long term, for one thing.
For another, that's all that I do. I feel so easily distracted otherwise and just live to move from day off to day off, never having the focus to organize something to improve the other aspects of my life. I've not really achieved a lot of the career goals I had for myself nearly a decade ago. And that makes me feel especially like I'm failing at performing whatever male gender roles that society expects of me, which I feel in turn, will be a malus towards whatever prospects at sociability that I might have.
I'm approaching 30 and I hardly have no consistent friends or significant other. I keep reflecting on this and wonder if my social ineptitude will compound on me like my parents and result in me being either completely lonely like them or in a crappy relationship. I try making friends outside of here but, the most annoying thing about it is that I seem to often find myself the one who has to consistently initiate conversations, leading me to take hits to my rather low self-esteem. I'm just not worth bothering with as a person. The same can be said for dating in some respects. I just want to find people who I can geek out and joke about history and gaming stuff.
I'm approaching the new year, feeling disorganized and listless, discouraged by whatever past failures I've gotten out of trying to make plans to better myself that fall through.
Considering most people are stuck at work 40hrs/wk, having a fulfilling job can have a major impact on the rest of your mood and motivation. Even the same work for a different company can make a big difference depending on workplace culture, coworkers, your boss, compensation, etc.
If you have a college degree, you can definitely find something above minimum wage. Idk what kind of work you do but maybe think about applying for some stuff you’re interested in but maybe only semi-qualify for.
I hate that my advice for what sounds a bit like depressive apathy is get a new job but that’s the world we live in.
I don't like my job because it involves taking care of aging people who are in the process of exiting this world, and while I work I know from what we discuss on this site that we don't really have a future where w we'll live with the same level of prosperity as they did (certainly not one with the same availability of nursing homes as we have now). I feel like I'm a boilerman on a sinking ship being told to keep the boilers going no matter what to keep the lotus-eater machine running for the aging post-war generation.
Do you have free time for social activities in your area or are you just working too much? I find that just getting out once or twice a week to some social thing helps pretty much all of that feeling. It could be anything...trivia night or bowling league or biking club or anime lovers night or board game afternoon or painting class or fencing or just whatever thing you think might be interesting to do that you could also meet people at.
I am keenly aware that actually doing these things and committing to them can be very challenging at first but over time it gets easier. Everyone I know that is like genuinely social and happy has stuff they do and most of them started about when you did and persevered through the awkward phase and now have social circles and hobbies that get them excited.
Ome other challenge here is usually "do I have the income for it" but it sounds like you do. And if your problem is that you have the income but you're working too hard for it then is that worth it?
Late 20s is a great time to kinda take a step back and figure out some stuff you wanna do that aren't career based and then go do it. Our minds and bodies are still able to learn and grow a lot o. That phase of life so it's definitely the time
I want a better career than this. I at least want to use my degree to do something that doesn't have me work minimum wage. I have to focus on that but, I have no time.
I want to quit my job some day and pause to breath but, I'm afraid if I do, my dad, who has an insane standard for working (into his 70s and still doing custodial work) will yell at me until I'm back working full time. Really a lot of what I'm doing is to please him so he doesn't explode.
I also work different hours than most people, so not really any time to do social activities when working on a Friday/Saturday night. That really came to the front when I tried going on that one date with that girl a month ago. We both had such different work schedules.
Ah dang yeah, that sucks :( I wish I knew how to get out of that sort of situation...I know people who have done it but every single one of them got lucky somehow, like one guy I know met someone at the hospital in the waiting room because he slipped and broke his tailbone. Got chatting with the guy and the guy offered him a job, launched his whole career because of some ridiculous happenstance. Capitalism is fucked in that way...people's way out of a sticky situation like this shouldn't be "just get lucky" but there it is sometimes.
I do think that if you can find any time at all to do social events it might help network you up into something better too...I know lots of people who get jobs just because they knew someone, but it sounds like that's more difficult for you than I thought.
I hear you about the schedules. I lost so many friends when I started working in kitchens. It's a sociable job, so I made some new ones. But different ones in each kitchen/bar. And it's hard to keep on touch when they need to be asleep by 10 pm to get up at 6 am and you don't finish till 10 pm and have to work Thurs/Fri/Sat night. Damn, I should try to get in touch with any of them and see how they're doing.
It's harder to make friends with the people I usually work with. Most of them are conservatives who are at least 20 years older than me.
Its a vicious cycle isn't it? Ive lived like that for most of my life, but I kinda feel like I'm more conscious of it now. Maybe because I was a bit closer with my old coworker friends, but ever since I got this new job I kind of feel the same way.
And its weird because I had to deal with customers at my old job, but just constantly talking to random people and sometimes even connecting with them kind of made it worth it even though most of the time it was just for a drab retail job.
I start thinking about how life just feels like its all the same thing and that I should do something. But then when I want to do something I feel completely sapped because of how monotonous life feels and suddenly I don't want to do anything.
Been right there with you. I just kinda float from one day to another. Haven't had steady income in over a year, so if I'm not frantically trying to surive, I just am waiting for the next day. Things don't really stir up feelings in me one way or the other. I'm just emotionally flat.
Hope something good comes your way
I feel kinda frantic, tbh. I feel like I'm going to end up friendless and loveless like my father. At least I have more freedom to be open with my sexuality than he did, so that's a thing I'm thankful for.
I'm a few years older, and noticed my friend circle shrinking more and more over the years. I really wish i had more to say, but im in the same boat as you and am not dealing with it well tbh
Sending love
It's absurd just how much of your life capitalism just steals from you, without giving anything back. Dont really have any suggestions either though tbh, also trying to figure things out. sending hugs and energy
don't worry I got you covered
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
