Comrades, how do I cope with my existence near the top of the global system that's destroying the planet for the sake of iphones and 2 dollar hamburgers? I know this is a common feeling and I know I'm just whining that my life is better than other peoples' which in extremely selfish and ungrateful, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm reaching the point in life where my last vestige of belief in true systematic change will be stomped out by the reality that I am powerless to do anything but try and maintain my position in the social order by robbing others of the means to improve their own lives.
I'm extremely privileged to be graduating from a university and receiving my "I deserve to stay in the middle class" paper, and this privilege gives me a constant guilt that the only meaningful way I could improve my situation would be to give away everything I have and voluntarily live in poverty so I could elevate one or two people more deserving than myself. However, I'm also a massive fucking pussy and I know that realistically I don't have the will to do that, so my punishment for my selfishness is the constant feeling that I'm a hypocrite who exploits those less fortunate than me while protesting the people who do that to me. Even so, feeling guilty about my hypocrisy makes me feel like even more of a coward who stands idly by feeling bad for himself instead of making any substantial effort to help others at his own expense. I'm in the level of the American middle class where I'll be renting all my life and constantly be on the verge of bankruptcy and homelessness unless I can work my way up at some soul crushing, flannel-shirt, beanbag, craft beer, post modern office where I make 6 figures for being one of the people I despise, managing 15 late 20's yuppies with Master's Degrees in journalism as they crank out facebook posts getting boomers to buy meaningless bullshit, or god forbid vote for the newest liberal ghoul who will drink our blood with a smile on their face.
I know this rant is just me wallowing in a perverse self pity about how GOOD my life is, but nonetheless I wonder how I, a meek and timid zoomer who posts on chapo.chat in between watching episodes of mad men and listening to lectures about Syria and the people who are REALLY suffering from the blight of our modern global capitalist condition, can better the lives of others without destroying my own when I am powerless to take anything from the people above me? Alone I can do nothing, and in the US we have no means of centrally organized resistance, so the only power I have is the insignificant capital I control. Even if we did have a means of really organizing, any sustained protest that showed enough promise to change the nature of our country would be wiped out by waves of drone strikes and white phosphorous as our government thrashes and screams in the face of that dark night which every empire must face. In short, im a whiny suburban white guy too powerless to help more than a few people by sacrificing all he has, knowing that they'd be as powerless as he is now. Waawaawaa.
Your anxiety and guilt will be treated the most effectively by taking irl action. Even stuff that from your current pov isnt completely transformative.
You will feel better amongst real life comrades and you feel especially good doing real life praxis - even little things like doing mutual aid for the homeless or taking part in a brake light repair.
This has only been studied for climate anxiety, but the actual, effective therepeutic treatment you will be recommended by therepists and psychologist is (essentially) solidarity and praxis. The actual treatment for people feeling overwhelmed by climage anxiety is to do stuff about it, even little stuff like recycling and attending protests. It will be the same for you.
Join a local org that does actual praxis in your community. Tendency doesnt matter all that much so long as theyre doing real community work. If there is no org, you will have to start one or join another one as an at-large member and try to find some comrades.
I know this is a late reply but I do really appreciate the advice. As someone unable to drive for medical reasons and living in a rural area with little public transit/safe bike routes, it's hard for me to get out. Even so I've started doing what I can like going back to the soup kitchen with my roommates. Part of me still says it's not enough but doing these little things helps ease my mind at least for a bit. Soon enough when I move somewhere that I can actually fucking get around via bike for more than 2 months of the year I'll be able to take more action in my community. Hopefully then I won't be surrounded by entirely Trumpers and libs either.
Comrades, how do I cope with my existence near the top of the global system that's destroying the planet for the sake of iphones and 2 dollar hamburgers? I know this is a common feeling and I know I'm just whining that my life is better than other peoples' which in extremely selfish and ungrateful, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm reaching the point in life where my last vestige of belief in true systematic change will be stomped out by the reality that I am powerless to do anything but try and maintain my position in the social order by robbing others of the means to improve their own lives.
I'm extremely privileged to be graduating from a university and receiving my "I deserve to stay in the middle class" paper, and this privilege gives me a constant guilt that the only meaningful way I could improve my situation would be to give away everything I have and voluntarily live in poverty so I could elevate one or two people more deserving than myself. However, I'm also a massive fucking pussy and I know that realistically I don't have the will to do that, so my punishment for my selfishness is the constant feeling that I'm a hypocrite who exploits those less fortunate than me while protesting the people who do that to me. Even so, feeling guilty about my hypocrisy makes me feel like even more of a coward who stands idly by feeling bad for himself instead of making any substantial effort to help others at his own expense. I'm in the level of the American middle class where I'll be renting all my life and constantly be on the verge of bankruptcy and homelessness unless I can work my way up at some soul crushing, flannel-shirt, beanbag, craft beer, post modern office where I make 6 figures for being one of the people I despise, managing 15 late 20's yuppies with Master's Degrees in journalism as they crank out facebook posts getting boomers to buy meaningless bullshit, or god forbid vote for the newest liberal ghoul who will drink our blood with a smile on their face.
I know this rant is just me wallowing in a perverse self pity about how GOOD my life is, but nonetheless I wonder how I, a meek and timid zoomer who posts on chapo.chat in between watching episodes of mad men and listening to lectures about Syria and the people who are REALLY suffering from the blight of our modern global capitalist condition, can better the lives of others without destroying my own when I am powerless to take anything from the people above me? Alone I can do nothing, and in the US we have no means of centrally organized resistance, so the only power I have is the insignificant capital I control. Even if we did have a means of really organizing, any sustained protest that showed enough promise to change the nature of our country would be wiped out by waves of drone strikes and white phosphorous as our government thrashes and screams in the face of that dark night which every empire must face. In short, im a whiny suburban white guy too powerless to help more than a few people by sacrificing all he has, knowing that they'd be as powerless as he is now. Waawaawaa.
Your anxiety and guilt will be treated the most effectively by taking irl action. Even stuff that from your current pov isnt completely transformative.
You will feel better amongst real life comrades and you feel especially good doing real life praxis - even little things like doing mutual aid for the homeless or taking part in a brake light repair.
This has only been studied for climate anxiety, but the actual, effective therepeutic treatment you will be recommended by therepists and psychologist is (essentially) solidarity and praxis. The actual treatment for people feeling overwhelmed by climage anxiety is to do stuff about it, even little stuff like recycling and attending protests. It will be the same for you.
Join a local org that does actual praxis in your community. Tendency doesnt matter all that much so long as theyre doing real community work. If there is no org, you will have to start one or join another one as an at-large member and try to find some comrades.
I know this is a late reply but I do really appreciate the advice. As someone unable to drive for medical reasons and living in a rural area with little public transit/safe bike routes, it's hard for me to get out. Even so I've started doing what I can like going back to the soup kitchen with my roommates. Part of me still says it's not enough but doing these little things helps ease my mind at least for a bit. Soon enough when I move somewhere that I can actually fucking get around via bike for more than 2 months of the year I'll be able to take more action in my community. Hopefully then I won't be surrounded by entirely Trumpers and libs either.
❤️️Good job doing what you can!