I am a human being who would rather not be addressed as Ms. or Mr., ma'am or sir. I prefer to use gender-neutral pronouns like sie and hir to describe myself. I am a person who faces almost insurmountable difficulty when instructed to check off an "F" or an "M" box on identification papers. (pg. 1)

Time passed and experience colored my perceptions of the world. As I grew more comfortable with myself I found a balance, a sense of peace. I am more than male and more than female. I am neither man nor woman, but the circle encompassing both. (pg. 75)

I think of myself as man and woman, both and neither these days. The world out there sometimes wonders out loud at me. There are a few practical details that sometimes present a challenge. But on the whole, I like being on the bridge. And even when I am having trouble with it that day, I know it’s where I belong. That’s good – knowing that. You can write the rules for yourself, and change them. You can walk in this world, harming no one. There really is room for everyone to be. People are sometimes afraid of me and I hope to calm their fear. The only way for sure to kill the fear that someone may walk through your walls is to knock your walls down. (pg. 77)

I've been thinking about the page one quote since first bringing up the idea for the group reading over a month ago and why it is that I feel such difficulty in choosing. I really don't fit squarely into either one and that's fine. Some days I feel like identifying as female just doesn't feel right, but I'm not at odds with medically transitioning - I'm insanely comfortable and confident in my skin actually.

I've turned out really fucking feminine and am at a point where even randos address me with female gendered language voluntarily but it still feels... weird. I thought I would've adjusted by now but I only feel like I've escaped the confines of one box that I fucking hated and hastily moved to the other without any consideration for anything else because that's all I knew at the time.

Lately that high of "wowee I pass and I'm lowkey a baddy - time to be your standard fem trans gal and raise some hell" has been rapidly fading as I grow more and more comfortable in my skin and I'm coming back and telling myself like, "now hold on, this feels cool and all but something still seems out of place". I can't think of better descriptions for how I feel overall than the last two passages, I just feel like neither or like a blend. I enjoy being "on the bridge", haha. The past couple months I've even found an obnoxious level of comfort in presenting in a more femininely androgynous way, if that makes sense.

This is as far as I've gotten with these thoughts. Don't know what to do with all of this information yet, but you can rest assured I'll use ChapoChat to diarypost about it when I figure it out. Thanks for coming to my TEDTalk.

Is there an audiobook version of this I can listen to? I want to learn more about my comrades, but I'm literally pretending to be two teachers right now because I refuse to put my kids in danger by sending them to a school that 100% has had multiple COVID-19 outbreaks.

Something I can listen to while I'm in the shower or the shitter? I'll even pay for it. I'm terminally ignorant about trans _______ (fill in the blank here, I'm a dumbass), but I want to learn.

Quotes from this week i liked:

On gender:

If we hear someone described to us who we've never met, we've already unconsciously made assumptions about that person based on the pronoun used to describe them.

If you assure the world you're not like us, then you've just locked yourself into having to super-conform to gender roles and stereotypes.

On Solidarity:

I believe that the liberation of lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and trans people cannot be won without fighting back shoulder to shoulder.

Mixed in the blood we shed when we fight back are all the elements of who we are.

Fucking love that one. Everything we bring to our shared fight against oppression is the mixed in with our own uniqueness - to oppress it or try to conform is cheating both yourself and your comrades.

What unites us is not a common sexuality or experiences or identities or self-expression. It's that we are up against a common enemy.

When people from different walks of life find themselves together in a collective protest, later they remember who stood tall with them when times were tough. That's how genuine solidarity is formed.

When we allow ourselves to be split along lines of oppression, we always lose.

"Let us win our demands first" they plead, "and then your demands will be more easily won later on." That's a trickle-down theory of reform.

I'm 100% gonna use trickle down theory of reform now for stupidpol losers, thank you comrade Leslie :sankara-salute:

I’m not caught up yet but thank you for making these discussion threads 💖

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I found this passage to be very personally elevating and inspirational. Some days I do feel like I really know what I'm doing with my life and really know who I am and who I want to be, but there are other days where I just have no clue. However, every day is a new opportunity to continue improving upon myself and figuring out who I want to be and how to get there. People may not like who I am becoming or who I am now and that's fine, I'm on my own walk of life. Despite the heartache and hardship, these last three years since coming out have been the best years of my life and I wouldn't trade them for the world. I'm proud of myself for the things I've overcome to get where I am now and for continuing to fight today. It may not be the easiest route in life, but it's one that I'm stronger and better for having taken.

Passage - pg. 76:

My life today is very different than yesterday There are days when I know where I am going and days where the doubts overwhelm. All in all I am a better person because I found my own way in the world. It may not be the same as yours and it certainly is not better than yours, but it is the right way for me.

On the topic of past social unrest, I found this passage to still hold true to this day with modern movements and protests that we are seeing today. "NOOOOOOOO you can't get militant and violent to demand justice, you have to be civil and negotiate for your rights... like civilized people! The key to achieving socio-economic equality isn't to protest, riot, or strike, it's to vote! Just vote for your rights!" We hear it time and time again and nothing ever gets done. The movements are cooped by libs and only performative theatre is offered as a form of restitution. This book was written 22 years ago about Leslie's experiences even decades before that too. The quip about being trickled on killed me and filled me with rage knowing this is still occurring to this day.

Passage - pg 76:

What is the most effective strategy to forge a fight-back movement today? Should we deny our relationship to each other based on relative difference and try to place an arm’s distance between us? It sounds absurd. And yet there are some lesbians and gay men, I know, who fear that their “winnable” demands for legislative reforms or acceptance will be lost if they stand up for the rights of trans people.

“Let us win our demands first,” they plead, “and then your demands will be more easily won later on.” That’s a trickle-down theory of reform. But those of us who have been tricked on in the past are not impressed with that strategy.

When a young social movement breaks down societal closet doors and floods into the streets, it’s leading activists suddenly begin to get advice from those in power who were never “friendly” before. These advisors urge leaders to send in their “best-dressed, most articulate spokespeople” (code words for white and middle- to upper-classed) to negotiate for progressive legislation and other reforms. But, they counsel, “Keep it to a single, simple demand. And disassociate with those who are too angry and too militant.”

Finally caught up. Better late than never, I suppose.

On unity and solidarity, I found these passages extremely inspirational and with them also a sense of pride for the perseverance in times of even extreme adversity and willingness to fight back to be themselves that LGBT people have shown throughout history and even in current day. I'm proud to be a part of the LGBT community and I admire the community's constant readiness and willingness to ally with those who are also oppressed and fighting for societal equality.

Passage #1 - pg. 96-97:

I asked her [Puerto Rican drag queen Sylvia Rivera – a combatant at Stonewall], “Were you fighting police brutality? We you fighting racism? Or for your right to be gay? Did you fight because so few of the queens could produce the military draft cards government agents demanded that night? Or because so many of you were homeless and hungry and embattled on the streets?”

Sylvia replied with quiet dignity, “We were fighting for our lives.”

Passage #2 - pg. 104-105:

The lesbian, gay, bi, and trans communities are natural allies. Throughout the last decade in the United States we have been stronger wherever we have formed coalitions – on campuses, in work places, and in political protests.

Everyone who is under the gun of reaction and economic violence is a potential ally. What an opportunity lesbian, gay, bi, and trans people have to play a leading role in the mass movements that must be organized to meet these attacks head-on. Our communities bring with us the lessons of militant struggle.

We can develop multi-issue coalitions with everyone who’s struggling for social equality and economic justice. When people from different walks of life find themselves together in a collective protest, later they remember who stood tall with them when times were tough. That’s how genuine solidarity is forged.

An injury to one is an injury to all! When we allow ourselves to be split along lines of oppression, we always lose. But when we put forward a collective list of demands together, and fight to defend each other from attacks, we frequently win.

Well... just about everything that I highlighted has been talked about or mentioned. Nice feeling.

I liked the little nods to history that started on page 102. Giving some historical touch stones leading up to the Stonewall Riots that, if they even were mentioned in other histories, might not have been coded as relating to gender and sexuality liberation.

Also starting on page 102 the paragraph that talks about how working on a single demand or for a single group within a coalition and how its kinda shitty leading to ...

This is an old tactic. When I was a teenager involved in factory struggles in Buffalo, New Your, management sent similar messages through emissaries to union activists. But it was divisive... ... But when we allowed ourselves to be split along lines of oppression, we always lost.

The tactics used against the working class are the same as those used against people oppressed because of their identity. And a solution against those tactics is also the same. Solidarity.

About the only thing revelatory that I've come to so far, is just how mindbogglingly complicated gender identity is, the more I'm exposed to the various intricacies less clear it all is.

Also, sucks that this post got comment bombed and you had to deal with that, also realizing that I saw the post title "Where did that bring you..." and totally quit reading the rest to realize that this is where the mega thread was.

whistles

You hit a certain age and the "boomer" comes at you fast.

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