I'm oscillating between overwhelming joy and crushing anxiety. I'm not sure what type of world I'll be bringing this child into, but I'm still deeply excited.
Does anyone have resources on parenting books by communists? I'm anxious and I want to feel like I'm doing something, but I don't want a parenting book written by some consultant fuck, if I can avoid it.
Dude, congrats. I remember well the alternation between terror and excitement. It's going to be ok. It's actually really hard to break a baby if you're not trying to break it. They're pretty good at letting you know what they need.
When it comes to parenting, what works for me is boundaries, openness, and contact. I try to have a clear idea of what I expect my kid to do and not do, and I try to convey those boundaries to him and what I will do if he doesn't meet those.
Within those boundaries, I try to pretty much let him do whatever the fuck he wants, and I try to engage in conversation on his level as much as I can and help him feel comfortable telling me about his feelings nd thoughts. Openness about the easy stuff means he'll be more likely to let me know about the tough stuff.
Also, I've learned that contact (physical contact and eye contact) is a really good way to increase happiness chemicals in the child brain, so I try to give my son lots of hugs, cuddles, and kisses, and also look him in the eye. It's weird to just think of increasing his happy chemicals, but it works for me.
You're going to get so much advice, and you're not going to do as well at keeping the advice as you want to, and your kid is going to be just fine. Take deep breaths.
This, right here, @Steely_Gaige, is the advice I wish I'd received over a decade ago. Every word of this post is The Truth, full stop. But I'll expand on it and say that you don't need to worry about most of this shit for a good long while.
Taking care of a baby is not rocket surgery. Is it stressful as shit because you're going to be sleep deprived for a whole goddamn year? Holy fuck, yes it is. But it's not complicated—babies are 100% bottom tier Maslow pyramid shit. Fed? Not covered in pee or poo? Warm hugs and sleeps? Let me swipe at jangly things? Congratulations, that's literally all you need to manage for most of a year. I was fortunate enough to be able to take parental leave to take care of our babies, and the first year was simpler than taking care of a Tamagotchi. Babies are dumb as hell, and I am so grateful.
The rest of how to raise a good kid, well... I'm still working on that. @BaptizedNRG seems to have his head on straight, though. Firm boundaries, with general freedom within those boundaries, is working pretty okay for us. Only time will tell if they have the guts to put their parents on the wall after overthrowing the bourgeoisie. But I hope they do.
Haha, I appreciate you saying this. A part of me knows you're right, and that I'm just gonna bugging. I think it's all gonna be okay, really.
Right now I think it's just my own anxiety and what have you. My mother really echoed your thoughts. In that, shit wasn't easy, but it was simple for like a year.
This very grounded and solid advice. I really appreciate it. Some part of me knows I'm fretting too much.
It sounds like you've got a real healthy attitude, sounds awesome. And yeah, I'm not striving for perfect, really. I know I'm gonna fuck, kid's gonna fuck up, etc. I think you're right, man. Just be open, kind and reasonable.