I study computer science and any time I sit down to code, I just browse or watch Youtube. Anything but do the work. Days and even months have gone by like this where I haven't done even an hour of learning. Its tough because in order to code I need to be in front of a screen but my brain refuses to study and just looks for that dopamine hit. My grades have suffered and I feel like a constant failure.

To clarify this is not an effect of the pandemic but has been happening for the past few years.

    • TankieTanuki [he/him]
      ·
      4 years ago

      Your story is similar to mine. I was diagnosed in my late 20s. When I took my first amphetamine prescription, my brain felt calm and decluttered for the first time in my life; it was an almost spiritual experience. I was instantly overcome with grief for the years of lost potential due to my parents having neglected my mental health.

        • TankieTanuki [he/him]
          ·
          4 years ago

          I was “in the moment”

          Yes! That's what made it spiritual: I experienced mindfulness. Now I understand what the Buddhists were going on about.

    • jurassicneil [any]
      ·
      4 years ago

      My country doesn't have adderall available as a drug. I'll try to find one with a similar formula. Thanks for the advice!