It's been a bit of a struggle, especially last night. But I found snapping my arm with a rubber band helps take my mind off the urge. I feel good though, a bit of clarity has returned not having to obsess over what my next get off urge will be and spending time hunting for harder and harder porn. I'll update tomorrow!
Proud of you. Do you still want me to install the wiretaps and cameras? I haven't been in yet.
Non-detailed talk of masturbation
While it definitely varies from person to person there's definitely a "too much" for jerking it. You can feel it, especially when your old go-to fantasies do nothing or you need to spend half an hour just trying to get actually aroused. Depending on what you're jerking to, jerking might make your mental health worse too. Refraining from jerking for a bit gives you time to reflect, especially if you were jerking to cover up emotions.
Congrats to Soros Foot Soldier, it's not easy task to defeat addiction.
Define "too much" I mean 2-3 times is perfectly reasonable atleast in my opinion
In my experience:
- 7 - 14 days is where the withdrawal is most intense. Also flat-line happens around day 14.
- 30 days gets you past the worst of the withdrawals.
- 90 days you feel like you have a healed brain and a sound mind.
As for superpowers, nonsense. I guess having a brain that has been able to heal feels surreal, as you finally get to feel what it's like to be "normal" again, which can revitalize your sense of control and confidence.
I once went three months just for the hell of it (thought No Nut November was so easy that I'd just keep it going) and tbh the only thing that changed for me is that I started to have relatively frequent vivid wet dreams. I was living in a dorm which made it a real pain in the ass to try to stealthily handwash my undies which is the main reason I eventually called it quits. That being said, by the time I was in college I was already pretty infrequent (probably twice a month-ish down from daily in middle/high school) so it makes sense that there'd not be much of a change compared to someone accustomed to once a day.
That's just the basic stuff tho. Real power starts at day 420
It gets easier. I stopped about a year ago now. Every couple of weeks I need to... let the pressure out. For a couple days after I normally feel the urge to keep going but if I ignore it for a few days the feeling passes.
Figuring it's going to get easier, as all addictions too.
Hey, good on you. You recognized you have a problem on a runaway train and you're taking steps.
a bit of clarity has returned not having to obsess over what my next get off urge will be and spending time hunting for harder and harder porn.
It's kind of mind blowing how much that clarity will improve the more time you allow for recovery.
I've been doing this since 2020, and honestly it was pretty profound how I felt a few months in the first time I abstained. It's truly indescribable how stark the contrast in quality of life was compared to day 0. Colors were more vibrant, more beautiful, as were sounds. My mind that was a chatterbox on steroids was finally at ease and not plagued by intrusive thoughts. Everything was just so quiet, so still and lucid. I felt like I was truly the captain of my own ship again. There weren't any tension headaches, I had energy and noticeably improved motivation and willpower, and I actually liked myself a lot more. Quality of life just improved steadily over time, and it was fascinating to experience, because I just thought I was getting more miserable and breaking down more and more due to ageing, which turns out wasn't at all the case.
Now that I've experienced that, it's given me piece of mind that there actually is something I can do about my quality of life. The longer you abstain from huge blasts of dopamine (orgasm, pot, whatever gives you a big rush of rapid euphoria), the more your brain will compensate for the lack of incoming surges to the receptors by producing more and more receptors themselves, which is why things that seemed boring or uninteresting before gradually become more and more attractive and enjoyable. The more surges of dopamine you feed the brain, the more the number of available receptors dwindles, making life harder to enjoy. This low receptor availability is why you experience withdrawals, which can be pretty intense early on, but they fizzle out and gradually dissolve as the brain recovers.
I've been on and off with the sexual pleasuring for about three years now, and I've learned not to be unrealistic about what success is supposed to be. The overall trend of the use of sexual release to cope with things is downward, like a faucet running out of water. Instead of a constant stream like pre-2020, it's an increasing frequency of air pockets that go on for longer and longer as time passes. Don't let yourself get caught up in the idea of landslide victories being what you have to measure up to. It's a dialectical process, and you'll become increasingly skilled at it the more you practice.
I'm currently coming up on 4 weeks sober from sexual release, and my brain is feeling a lot better than a couple weeks ago. I'm in your corner here.
Now that I've experienced that, it's given me piece of mind that there actually is something I can do about my quality of life.
I am happy that you found something that works for you and that did improve your QoL.
The longer you abstain from huge blasts of dopamine (orgasm, pot, whatever gives you a big rush of rapid euphoria), the more your brain will compensate for the lack of incoming surges to the receptors by producing more and more receptors themselves, which is why things that seemed boring or uninteresting before gradually become more and more attractive and enjoyable. The more surges of dopamine you feed the brain, the more the number of available receptors dwindles, making life harder to enjoy. This low receptor availability is why you experience withdrawals, which can be pretty intense early on, but they fizzle out and gradually dissolve as the brain recovers.
Is not quite as clear cut. The mechanisms which make you feel better are not understood and while there are a couple of studies which show that reported happiness does somewhat equalize over time in many situations the brain doesn't just create new receptors limitless. The connectivity in the brain, how it processes signals and alike are both more complex and less understood than sometimes presented.
Asceticism doesn't in general lead to people who are experiencing spices again having orgasmic feelings.
That said, your individual life situation, circumstances and body are also much more complex and unexplained, so it is good you reflect on what works for you.
I'm glad to see a write-up on such things without a NoFap chud mysticism overlay.
If this is sincere: Good for you!
Just be careful not to fall into weird incel NoFap stuff.
good for you! everything should be done in moderation!
Getting away from the hedonic treadmill can help especially if bigger and harder hits were getting required for the same effect. Having that kind of willful abstaining without the cryptofascist occult baggage of NoFap should be encouraged.
It'd be exhausting to dig up individualized examples, especially because it's been a years long phenomenon, but to summarize, Reddit's NoFap community has had a right wing leaning since its inception, went all-in for right wing cryptofascist cranks like Jordan Peterson because his babbling ostensibly seemed to align with their mysticism regarding "essence" and "retaining" it and how their masculinity (and yes, NoFap is almost entirely male coded as a community norm) was so easily drained/weakened/contaminated by "temptations" and by feeemales in general, as if such feeemales were out to get them.
Is it the ubermensch “triumph of the will” vibes?
Ultimately, yes.
It's like a group of people who took Dr. Strangelove as a rolemodel.
I haven't heard anyone do that.
YET.
I have met someone who unironically admired General Jack Ripper in that film, however. Even said "he had a point, but of course the (antisemitic slurs) that made the movie had to twist it."
The first few days of quitting anything can be the hardest. When you're past that, it gets easier.
also next time you do masturbate maybe try erotica/smut instead of filmed porn, i find theres less grossness in it, and if you like it you can write your own and then you have a creative hobby.
I think I could get hard on demand no matter how often I masturbate, provided there was an actual opportunity to be had
But maybe I'm just not old enough. Or I could be wrong, I've never actually gotten laid :|
Nice! As someone who attends sex therapy, here are some questions that have helped me explore why I feel the way I feel and do what I do. I hope they help.
When you have the urge to masturbate or look at porn...
- Check in and see if you feel anxious or stressed. If so, Is this your body's way of coping with stress? If this coping mechanism is causing additional stress, see if you can introduce other activities and thought patterns to relieve stress or anxiety.
- Think about when the habit was formed. Was there anything going on in your life that you were trying to avoid? Trying to escape from? See if you can pinpoint some events and try to process those events. If they are traumatic events, keep reminding yourself that you are safe and that there is no danger.
- Do you have a sense of shame around this? Try to sus out why and how and what it's pointing to. Was this formed by religion, authority figures, society, or your own process? Is the shame centered around sex generally, the act of masturbation, other people knowing your secret, etc? Does this shame have roots in strong emotions like fear and, if so, what is that fear based in (harming others, getting caught, hurting myself, etc)>
The reason this is important is that shaming yourself or just forcing yourself to stop won't get to the root causes of the problem, which could be biological, psychological, sociological, etc. I'd really encourage you to do some of this work alongside your abstinence.
Good job on your first day comrade. I hope these activities help you explore some root causes here that will help with long term recovery.
cranking
