even when someone identifies as [gender] and uses [gender] pronouns, the english language is formatted such that in certain instances you refer to them as "they/them" because its a gender-absent pronoun native to the language. so literally no one thats a reasonable humanbean will be upset at you for using that as the default when you dont know the correct pronoun to use
that said, pls make an effort to use the pronouns people refer to themselves as once youre aware of them, because it will make them happy, which is good.
like, personally, someone using "they" to refer to me is perfectly fine, but i dont identify with that pronoun, so it would be even better if they just didnt use pronouns at all
What happens sometimes is that cis people only use they/them for a trans woman because they're uncomfortable with referring to her with she/her, which is... pretty shitty
yeah, and thats not cool at all, those people are terfs and get the wall. refer to folks by their prefered pronoun.
using they/them rather than a potentially wrong gendered pronoun as a default term is fine, but efforts should be made to find out the prefered terms of any person youre interacting with so that you can correctly gender them, was my point.
I imagine there are people that might not want to be referred to that way for reasons other than "they isn't a real word!!", but it seems inoffensive enough. I do think it would be good for English to move towards less linguistic gendering overall, sort of like Turkish or Mandarin.
As someone who's achieved ego death on the level of Masonic initiates... I can do the bare minimum to let the person feel recognized and respected, but... holy shit, we're all ONE. Get over yourself.
Genuine question: is using "their/they" as a default for EVERYONE dandy?
yes, thats fine.
even when someone identifies as [gender] and uses [gender] pronouns, the english language is formatted such that in certain instances you refer to them as "they/them" because its a gender-absent pronoun native to the language. so literally no one thats a reasonable humanbean will be upset at you for using that as the default when you dont know the correct pronoun to use
that said, pls make an effort to use the pronouns people refer to themselves as once youre aware of them, because it will make them happy, which is good.
like, personally, someone using "they" to refer to me is perfectly fine, but i dont identify with that pronoun, so it would be even better if they just didnt use pronouns at all
:cat-trans:
What happens sometimes is that cis people only use they/them for a trans woman because they're uncomfortable with referring to her with she/her, which is... pretty shitty
yeah, and thats not cool at all, those people are terfs and get the wall. refer to folks by their prefered pronoun.
using they/them rather than a potentially wrong gendered pronoun as a default term is fine, but efforts should be made to find out the prefered terms of any person youre interacting with so that you can correctly gender them, was my point.
I imagine there are people that might not want to be referred to that way for reasons other than "they isn't a real word!!", but it seems inoffensive enough. I do think it would be good for English to move towards less linguistic gendering overall, sort of like Turkish or Mandarin.
If someone told you their name was Gretchen and you insisted on calling them "Person" then yeah, you're the asshole.
As someone who's achieved ego death on the level of Masonic initiates... I can do the bare minimum to let the person feel recognized and respected, but... holy shit, we're all ONE. Get over yourself.
can't you read the sign? this is a no-bit zone
No we aren't
Panpsychism is for people who take way too many psychedelics and have had their brain fried, literally the most stupid theory about consciousness