It isnt revolutionary, but it is good that there is an alternative to monogamy, and dating multiple people makes it easier to survive under capitalism in a lot of cases.

I just remembered a thread where people were being kind of shit about it and felt the need to post

  • Ithorian [comrade/them]
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    4 years ago

    I'd typed up a long reply to this but my brain isn't working well enough to make it coherent. But the jist of it was with most poly people there is a primary couple that are completely committed to each other just like in monogamy and all other relationships are secondary. There are some people who make a thrupple (all three people in love with each other) work, and at least for us that would be goal but finding the perfect person to slot in with the two of us is basically chasing unicorns.

    • HereInRobotHell [they/them,comrade/them]
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      4 years ago

      Primary/secondary nonsense is bull, and is mostly the older generation reproducing elements of the nuclear family.

      You can have multiple commited relationships, and without any of your partners sleeping together.

      • Ithorian [comrade/them]
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        4 years ago

        Think what you want friend, but I've been married almost a decade, all but two of them its been a polly relationship and its worked great for us.

        • HereInRobotHell [they/them,comrade/them]
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          4 years ago

          There are multiple ways to skin a rabbit, but I couldn't deal with heirarchy personally. It feels like an artifact of monogamy to me, and I've been an expendable secondary too many times to get involved with that again, or do that to another person.

          • Ithorian [comrade/them]
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            4 years ago

            I can't argue with that, it truly is different for every relationship. Hopefully you find what works for you.

      • Ithorian [comrade/them]
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        4 years ago

        I would say it varies by person, for some people sex is a very important way to bond, for others its just a nice perk. For our ace friends sex is rarely if ever part of a committed relationship and I don't think any of us would say they're incapable of emotional intimacy because of that.