CW: transphobia
Are any of you dating/partners with a lib? how do you handle it? the woman I've been seeing is a lib. The worst of it is that she doesn't accept that personal pronouns are a thing, so definitely a bit of a transphob. I hope its just because she is just ignorant of the issues, but in other conservations we have she does some impressive level centrism and both-siding so I don't know. "Slavery wasn't bad because it was legal, everyone did it, nobody was saying it was bad at the time" etc.
We basically broke up last night, not directly because of these issues, but they are definitely a part of it. I want to be able to be completely mask off with my partner, but I also don't want to have to get into an argument every time I use "they" in the singular. I have moments of doubt where I worry I've fallen into a weird online cult and am now do the "oh, you like (BLANK)? name their last 3 albums," but with online leftist culture.
Since I do limited praxis, sometimes all of this feels theoretical. But when I open up /r/collapse or chapo.chat, I'd like to have a partner that would be able to see the world as I see it.
Otherwise we have a great time together and are able to have really good conversations. Even that we broke up last night was because she is great at communication and was able to draw this out of me. The conversation was something that I wanted to do, but I don't know when I would have gotten around to it on my own.
More broadly, how sure are you that you found the person that you want to be with? Did you feel that you compromised/settled? I don't really believe in romantic love, but maybe its just because I haven't found it yet.
should I put an ironic closing line, to act cool?
People are complicated. I used to be a lib. I even used to have transphobic views. I'm not proud of it, but it happened. I'm glad my friends redeemed me and didn't just abandon me. When I met my partner, she was a lib with some conservative views. Now she's a leftist too.
Idk what people "should" do, and I'm not saying people have an obligation to behave a certain way, but I can speak to what worked for me.
Also, on the "people are complicated" note, I think it matters a lot what kind of person someone is. Being wrong isn't always the same as being a bad person. It doesn't make the wrongness right, of course. But I think there's a difference, for example, between thinking that "racism is a problem and the earned income tax credit is the solution" and thinking "racism isn't a problem for me, so I don't care if it's a problem for anyone else".
It is very complicated and probably aren't any "right" answers, hence the post and seeking other people's experiences