First off, I'm realizing that you were obviously just hurt by someone who wasn't honest with you and feel like my response should have been more sympathetic instead of giving you an example of an 'ideal' situation. I apologize if any of this came off as insensitive or made you feel worse. You're not selfish. You should never feel any guilty for being up front about what you want/need. Trying to get your basic human needs met can be hard as hell. Sorry if I trivialized any of that.

I'm also a total weirdo in that I don't really get jealous. A FWB thing works for my personality in the same way that I'm assuming polyamory would (idk, haven't tried it). That doesn't mean that it's right for you or for anyone else. If the way I described my situation/feelings confused you, that probably means that either I'm a shitty communicator (which, obvs, especially over the internet) or that I'm inhabiting a different brain-world that wouldn't vibe with you.

As to the 'good vs great' thing: I'm a pretty easy-going person and get along with most people. I've had a lot of relationships that were 'fine' and that I could have 'made work', but all of which felt like I'd be 'settling' to a tangible degree... which wasn't/isn't something that I'm OK with. Anyone who has dug their heels in and pushed a relationship beyond its natural timeline probably gets what I'm talking about. It's less about finding a 'perfect' person, and more about finding someone who's genuinely great for you.