From my limited experience, Friends with benefits is a lot of fun but you have to remind yourself continually, and always make sure you are on the same page. Sex is an emotionally vulnerable experience and when you receive comfort and pleasure from your partner it feels like the greatest thing ever. It makes you feel alive and human. But the pull of romantic thoughts is simply going to be too tempting if you really like the person.
Don't be ashamed or feel foolish, it's very normal for one or both partners to fall into the spiral.
I ended up in a FWB relationship that basically was a boyfriend/girlfriend situation. Dates, trips, and some very erotic nights. Typically when we had sex there really wasn't much held back in terms of romance. Long kissing sessions and cuddling before and after. We didn't fuck like we were just friends, we fucked like we were lovers. You can see how this eventually started to spill over and not operate like a FWB. Fortunately we never had any kind of breakup but we just drifted apart. Early on I was the one that wanted a closer relationship, and later that faded into me just being comfortable with a fuck buddy. As time progressed she wanted something more serious except she wouldn't directly admit it and was less interested in the sex. I started to get the vibe that she was trying to use sex to get something else. We drifted apart probably before things began to get bad and we are still good friends.
You can see from my story how it was obvious what it was from the get go but when you are living it you don't notice. It always feels stupid when you look back at relationship decisions you made. But it's very normal. Don't beat yourself up.
The best advice I can give is: If you worry about what sex means between you and another person, you need to find out why you are having sex with them.
Have a mutual understanding and enjoy yourself. If you feel yourself getting more deeply pulled in, take a step back and think. Don't be afraid to clarify because they might be feeling the same confusion and will be glad you asked. Communication is key.
From my limited experience, Friends with benefits is a lot of fun but you have to remind yourself continually, and always make sure you are on the same page. Sex is an emotionally vulnerable experience and when you receive comfort and pleasure from your partner it feels like the greatest thing ever. It makes you feel alive and human. But the pull of romantic thoughts is simply going to be too tempting if you really like the person.
Don't be ashamed or feel foolish, it's very normal for one or both partners to fall into the spiral.
I ended up in a FWB relationship that basically was a boyfriend/girlfriend situation. Dates, trips, and some very erotic nights. Typically when we had sex there really wasn't much held back in terms of romance. Long kissing sessions and cuddling before and after. We didn't fuck like we were just friends, we fucked like we were lovers. You can see how this eventually started to spill over and not operate like a FWB. Fortunately we never had any kind of breakup but we just drifted apart. Early on I was the one that wanted a closer relationship, and later that faded into me just being comfortable with a fuck buddy. As time progressed she wanted something more serious except she wouldn't directly admit it and was less interested in the sex. I started to get the vibe that she was trying to use sex to get something else. We drifted apart probably before things began to get bad and we are still good friends.
You can see from my story how it was obvious what it was from the get go but when you are living it you don't notice. It always feels stupid when you look back at relationship decisions you made. But it's very normal. Don't beat yourself up.
The best advice I can give is: If you worry about what sex means between you and another person, you need to find out why you are having sex with them.
Have a mutual understanding and enjoy yourself. If you feel yourself getting more deeply pulled in, take a step back and think. Don't be afraid to clarify because they might be feeling the same confusion and will be glad you asked. Communication is key.