i keep playing games im really bad at, which i like watching from time to time but only make me feel like a dumbass cos i lose costantly (mainly chess).

after that, i tell myself im good for nothing, and i go back into a depressive/anxious spiral that can last half a day if i dont manage to calm myself down, but even after that i try to try again the day after, which one might think is the good and honest thing to do, right? like trying again to try to improve? but then i lose another couple of games/do badly at the videogamez and it restarts all over again and i cry on myself again. i know it might sound like im exaggerating but i think it's some sort of self harm.

and im starting to doubt if im good at anything, cos i really am not. like the only thing i've been more than ok at for the past two years or so is my high school math, which, tbh, is going great, im helping out basically all my friends pass, but even slightly outside of that i am complete trash at stuff, like not even worth trying.

  • Owl [he/him]
    ·
    3 years ago

    1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DN43sCyEanA

    2. Doing things you're bad at isn't self-harm. Basing your self-worth on whether you're good at things probably is.

    3. Getting good at stuff comes from practice. Talent is a myth. The most "talented" people always turn out to be people who had an irrational compulsion to keep practicing at something they were horrible at.

    4. Wait, you're in high school? It takes like ten years of practice to be actually good at a thing. You literally haven't had the time. All your friends are trash at whatever you think they're good at too, and they probably agree with me because they're comparing themselves to professionals, not other high schoolers.

    5. If you're really really attached to the idea of getting good at a thing, you should find a way to watch yourself from the outside, like watching replays of your chess games, and critically analyze that. Break it down into skills you want to work on, and spend the most time on whatever you're worst at, with the rest of the skills in rotation. Set a fixed practice schedule.