Arguing with some hogs about it and not sure where I stand. Feel like it's a noble goal that should happen some day, but personally, if I had a kid I wouldn't do it because I'd fear they'd get bullied for it. Thoughts?

  • penguin_von_doom [she/her]
    ·
    4 years ago

    Bad idea. First, for most people gender identity is congruent with their body, and the chance they arent cis isnt very high. So you run a very high risk of traumatizing the poor kid. Second - external social pressures are too big, and you run a big risk of traumatizing your child. Make sure a child is raised to be open about this thing and to not think about "girls toys" and "boys toys" and bullshit like that.

    • eduardog3000 [he/him]
      ·
      4 years ago

      Seriously, just use their anatomical gender, but don't force cultural norms on them and give them freedom to figure out if that gender fits or not. If they tell you it doesn't, respect it. It doesn't have to be any harder than that.

    • EthicalHumanMeat [he/him]
      ·
      4 years ago

      First, for most people gender identity is congruent with their body, and the chance they arent cis isnt very high. So you run a very high risk of traumatizing the poor kid. Second - external social pressures are too big, and you run a big risk of traumatizing your child.

      I'm having trouble understanding this. How would, say, using gender neutral language to refer to a kid until they figure it out themself traumatize them?

    • GrandAyatollaLenin [he/him,comrade/them]
      ·
      4 years ago

      First, for most people gender identity is congruent with their body, and the chance they arent cis isnt very high. So you run a very high risk of traumatizing the poor kid.

      I don't think it would be traumatizing, but I do think it's important they understand that having a gender is normal. If they want to be a he or she, that's fine.

      I'm wondering if Theybies would have any advantage over raising them as cis, while exposing them to transpositivity. Either way, you're creating an inertia for a certain gender expression, while providing an offramp if they don't like that identity.

      • penguin_von_doom [she/her]
        ·
        4 years ago

        Believe me, forcing someone to be something they are not is big bad and not cool. Raising a kid as a theyby is just that and just as cruel. Raising a kid with the idea of transpositivity is what you're looking for tho.