make too big of a tub of hummus to eat in one sitting

Make a bigger batch of hummus

Make several tubs and put most in the fridge/freezer.

I will eat it before you have time to react

Making homemade hummus is anti-zionist praxis.

Use it as a topping for toast. Then I get too lazy to toast more bread and put it away

physically impossible

many small tubs

but that's when it's tastiest!

If you eat it all it's okay to double dip the whole time

Gang I have something to confess

The last few times I have had hummus it made my tummy really upset

I'm really afraid for my future of eating hummus

I don't get it, I can eat chickpeas just fine

Make more hummus

Why would I not eat an entire tub of hummus, this seems like a non issue.

You're asking for the impossible. There is no such willpower in the universe that can achieve such lofty goals.

I no longer make homemade hummus when I'm not immediately bringing it to some party where it will be gone in 0.2 seconds. It's kept me in shape.