Electrickoolaide32 [he/him]

  • 23 Posts
  • 721 Comments
Joined 4 years ago
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Cake day: September 24th, 2020

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  • Finally deleted my Reddit account or rather just deleted the app and said fuck it. Was attacked in a thread called and idiot by libs. I’m not proud of it but I just had a shaking break down cause of it.

    I’m beyond exhausted, my mom is on hospice in the home with me as the doctors have ended her chemo treatment. I’m with my sister and we are hanging in there but this has been the worst I’ve felt since November when we got her diagnosis.

    What I can’t wrap my head around is why this world and this society we live in is so needlessly cruel? I lost my brother in 2018 and just when I was feeling somewhat normal, covid, the summer protest and my moms diagnosis happened all back to back. I’m not suicidal and I don’t have those ideations, but a big part of me just wants to drive 1300 miles to California and just go walk into the Ocean and let it take me.

    We all joke about being jokerfied, base pilled and all that but all I feel is crushing defeat and the inability to do anything to help anyone anymore. Just I’m the butt of a cruel ass joke, someone that people can point to and go “well at least I’m not that sad sack of shit”.