Like, the amount of times you hear this is mind boggling. And it’s always liberals/“leftists” who say they’re not racist.
“But I just don’t find them attractive.”
You have NOT seen/interacted with literally every single member of that community. How in the fuck can you just broadly say you aren’t attracted to them?
It’s just a preference.
Like, you’re literally saying you don’t find people of a specific race, or from a specific place, or who follow a specific religion attractive. What the fuck kind of “preference” is this? I don’t understand. That’s terfs saying they don’t find “trans” people attractive. No that’s terfs being literal terfs. Stop it.
I’m a POC too! I can’t be racist against my own race!
Yeah, you are being racist against your own race here. I don’t see why you can’t. Candace Owens regularly spreads anti-Black propaganda for her personal benefit. There are countless such examples.
This shit drives me up the wall. And I haven’t even mentioned the amount of times these devolve into arguments about how ___ race/religion is actually bad and people who are a part of it/follow it are bad. So. Many. Times. And said with a straight face too! By people who say they’re not racist or xenophobic. For some reason people think being a POC means you’re immune from being racist/xenophobic. Which just isn’t true.
I’m not saying your bad for feeling this way. A huge part is the culture we’re born in and grow up in. But a sign of maturity is recognising this ingrained racism and getting rid of it.
Sorry, just sometimes liberals get on my fucking nerves.
as a black woman who grew up on the internet its very clear that whenever people say im not attracted to x race, its almost always black people, particularly black women.
as such the whole preference conversation (especially one that hinges on disingenously declaring "preference" as disliking blondes and disingeniously compares that dislike to disliking black people --without mentioning that there's a preference against black people ofc!) is a dogwhistle for me for unexamined white supremacy.
its always been very dehumanizing to experience but then i remember that im hotter than all of you
solidarity with my asian men, who are often also on the end of the "im not attracted to x race schitk".
coming from a place of constant dehumanization makes it hard for me to understand the fetishization complaint from other races / race and gender combos deemed as attractive but im still trying to learn about it, and get past my knee jerk "you are lucky to be considered as hot for being a latina even if it is dehumanizing when every single kid's adolescence in america seems to based on deeming black women as ugly ghetto monkeys" response.
any way if anyone still carries that whole "black women are ugly" nazi ass rhetoric, they definitely reveal themselves to be racist or 14 years old and racist
as always based on some of these comments, chapo.chat is able to pull obscure marxist theory out of its ass and talk about it ad nauseum but cant handle basic desirability politics
btw although im not attracted to x people almost always implicates black women, it also always implicates fat black women, and fat people in general. Attraction isnt as inate and as fixed and as apolitical as you think. One easy and proven way to decolonize your desires is to read fat liberation theory, disability justice work and pro black literature (with a specific emphasis on womanism and queer black literature)
i believe while its not everything, a huge reason why our culture went from paris hilton to meghan thee stallion as a beauty ideal is due to a constant push over the last 15 years to at least have SOME type of diverse bodies in media // our society's relationship to fatness is changing before our eyes and part of that is due to changing what we see every day (this isnt a dumb ass representation matters comment, or a comment meant to ignore the work many fat, disability, pro black etc activists have done to change this/ also this isnt to ignore the work capitalists such as the kardashians have put into to commodify their culturally appropriative bodies)
(my fave way to observe a very clear changing beauty standard is to watch buffy season 1 and then buffy season 2. literally sarah michelle geller's body changes to get even tinier in season 2, reflecting what we can assume to be alot of interpersonal pressure and/or aging, but also the fact that society was coming into the early 2000s which praised skinniness rather than the relatively curvy 90s aesthetic)
like half the hot people wouldnt even be considered hot because theyre bigger than the standard of the early 2000s. Obviously a new beauty standard isnt good, and we should be pushing for body neutrality, but fat people are being seen more at least and as a result im willing to bet everyone is a little more into fucking fat people now (not that fat people arent hot in the first place / and not that fat people being seen as attractive is the main goal for fat liberation, especially when discrimination towards fat people usually shakes out in life threatening ways such as barred access to medical care -----you know, more important things)
any way i think the clear political, racial, class, gender expression etc implications of attractiveness is why ive always been personally fascinated by incels despite them being horrible and women hating. (I guess im more interested in involuntary celibacy from the perspective of the disabled woman feminist who first coined it). its like even the crazy kids calling people slurs on chat roulette understand that diserability politics exists (even though they have no political understanding of it) so its very weird to me when self proclaimed leftists act as if beauty isnt political
So many of my friends are Asian men, that the "I don't date Asian men" thing really bothers me. Much of it comes from other Asian women. I def don't want to complain about someone's preference, but I quietly fucking hate on it. I've known people that go single forever because "I want a white bf". Ugh! Open up your options.
Coming from inside the white boy organisation, I have first hand knowledge that we're not that awesome.
Edit: sorry if it seems like I'm shitting on Asians here. White people are super fucking guilty of this.
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Is this just an American thing? As an European, many of these tropes and stereotypes you see in American media are just bizarre. Jokes about Asians not knowing how to drive have never made any fucking sense to me
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Growing up in Finland I've certainly been on car rides where I've had relatives complain about foreigners driving, but it's never been about a specific race, just general xenophobia
as we all know, england isn't european though. checkmate, terf-island.
There's been scientific research (I can dig it out if you want). Shyness-sensitivity is a negative quality growing up the West, whereas it's considered a positive thing in much of the East. I feel like dunking and putting down others is more celebrated here. Like, if you want a chud bf, we do it better.
Super sorry to over generalise. I'll self crit if I said anything racist.
Would love to see that research
There's actuality way more, but I got to go. Should I send you more later?
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Sure
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yeah I cant speak with a lot of confidence (because im not asian) but i have heard that there's a little bit of tension between asian men and asian women sometimes when it comes to dating. It seems like theres a lot of reasons for this, but ive heard about a dynamic of some asian women seeking white men all while saying self hating shit like "asian men all look like my brothers" or a dynamic of some asian men being sexist against asian women/ projecting this whole "all asian women want is a white guy" narrative.
seems like theres alot of hurt on both sides
i think black women and black men have a similar dynamic of hurt but its not as explicit i think as the whole "Asian girl hot sexy good; Asian man feminine unsexy patriarchy"
and it didnt seem like you were shitting on asians to me so no worries here :)
bit of an understatement there.
judging from the vocal minority that post online, it feels like asian dudes are still split down the middle in terms of whether or not to date asian women at all due to the historically prevailing attitudes from the girls' camp (particularly since the advent of kpop have made asian guys more palatable sexually and suddenly there are options). zoomers and people who grew up in ethnic enclaves don't really have this problem but the millenials and older who grew up in white majority areas definitely have a chip or two on their shoulders. i would like to think these people aren't the majority in real life, but real life has up till relatively recently has been absolutely dominated by rhetoric from asian women (fuckin joy luck club setting the standard for everyone who has never met an asian guy irl) so discourse has been sparse.
the entire topic is a huge toxic fucking minefield, i hate it.
I've noticed that most portrayals of Asian people... both from the West and from Asian counties describing themselves to the West... are very heavy of women. Stepping back, it feels creepy af.
pretty sure most major western cultural works featuring asians have just been riffing on the themes of madame chrysantheme for the past century
Sometimes I wonder if it's some kind of internalised colonialism inside people. Like it makes no logical sense to prefer white people. I can understand people wanting to sample something different (God knows I've been guilty of this). But to discard a whole general ethnic/cultural group?
I don't want to judge people's preference, but oh fuck do I quietly do it.
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I'd love to read a whole thread about your experiences. It sounds interesting.
I'd one million times prefer to hang out with someone with your interesting background than those normie white kids from your town. Still, sorry for the shit you went through.
Most US sports and music are shit anyways 🙄
It is definitely related to colonialism.
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Yes this is true. A lot of the burden on calling out individual Asian women goes to Asian women as a result. Lots of asian dudes who are progressive at the least do not touch this because there are a ton of MRAsians in the community and its just bad optics for them to do it since it seems like you're talking over women. Secondly, some Asian womens' proximity to whiteness gives them 'white woman feminist vibes' so you often see radical Asian women calling out the lib dronies in our communities.
This fucking sentence. Literally had to respond to one “blonde-hater” in this thread.
And it’s not just by white people. This is not an attack on white people. People, especially from ex-colonial countries, have ingrained white supremacy to a ludicrous degree.
:cat-vibing: