tbh I'm terrible at dating just plain cisgender women, when I say I'm het I mean I carry a serving of eggplant with me already and don't want more, but I find myself interested in a bunch of people who aren't women but are still cute and attractive to me. Bodily autonomy, consent, all that stuff is important to me, and the notion of trying to tell my hypothetical partner how to dress or present or anything like that just feels wrong to me. In fact it bothers me that people would assume that behavior from me, due to my intense RSD I absolutely cannot stand the notion of someone being scared of me, and it's rough to manage that when I'm six feet tall, over 300 pounds, and have a deep, booming voice. The autism tends to give me resting pissed off face too. So I tend to mostly try and leave people alone. And frankly, I didn't give much thought to the notion of dating someone who is mid-transition and still figuring themselves out, only to go down a path that I would find physically unattractive and creating an incredibly painful situation where I end up hurting them. So again, probably something I don't have the emotional intelligence to navigate safely.
I find the energy trans people have to be incredibly admirable, though. The courage it takes to live authentically in a world that largely wants you dead for it is amazing. Maybe that's what makes me find them so attractive. Again, it's their power level.
tbh I'm terrible at dating just plain cisgender women, when I say I'm het I mean I carry a serving of eggplant with me already and don't want more, but I find myself interested in a bunch of people who aren't women but are still cute and attractive to me. Bodily autonomy, consent, all that stuff is important to me, and the notion of trying to tell my hypothetical partner how to dress or present or anything like that just feels wrong to me. In fact it bothers me that people would assume that behavior from me, due to my intense RSD I absolutely cannot stand the notion of someone being scared of me, and it's rough to manage that when I'm six feet tall, over 300 pounds, and have a deep, booming voice. The autism tends to give me resting pissed off face too. So I tend to mostly try and leave people alone. And frankly, I didn't give much thought to the notion of dating someone who is mid-transition and still figuring themselves out, only to go down a path that I would find physically unattractive and creating an incredibly painful situation where I end up hurting them. So again, probably something I don't have the emotional intelligence to navigate safely.
I find the energy trans people have to be incredibly admirable, though. The courage it takes to live authentically in a world that largely wants you dead for it is amazing. Maybe that's what makes me find them so attractive. Again, it's their power level.