sounds hasty, but its been more than a year since i've found out, and i've done literally nothing

Like literally maybe allowing myself to have pink and purple things without being afraid, and my Power Puff Girls sweater

but thats it

FOR A YEAR

Despite the poor (not like bad, they thought they were helping, its poor in execution) reception when i hinted at experiencing gender dysphoria, I want to let my family know that I am completely and utterly certain.

I have some sort of future, and I want to make the most out of whats possible. Im just so scared.

I don't know why, I'm in a much better position than many of my trans comrades. I can legally try to obtain hormone therapy, as there are gender clinics in Oahu. I know friends (even though they have moved away) and many comrades that could help. Its a wide, but weak, net. But again this is the unreliable narrator shit, It could literally be completely fine, or hell, to do this, im just afraid.

But i'd rather be afraid in my real body than forever stuck in this banal hell.

And hi, I'm Catra!

  • Katra5Lives [comrade/them, she/her]
    ·
    6 months ago

    Don't make the mistake of thinking those of us who've already come out are braver than you. Speaking for myself, I was also terrified to come out and terrified for some time after. It was worth it, but that's also easy for me to say now.

    Very true, Trans people are brave because every second of existence is a resistance against reaction! Its one of those things where im like "they deserve joy and happiness" and then turn around and say "but for some reason its not true for me I suck". Makes no sense at all.

    At the risk of sounding cheesy, being brave is doing something you know is right despite how afraid you are. You are very Brave, as much as the rest of us transgenders.

    meow-hug

    • Orannis62 [ze/hir]
      ·
      6 months ago

      For whatever it's worth, it did get less terrifying for me over time. I don't want to give the impression that it's just all fear all the time. Coming out is in many ways when my life began. It was terrifying to do but it was also so so worth pushing through that fear. Take your time if you need it, you're the only one who can know your circumstances and your timeline, but don't be afraid to give yourself a little push too, if you need it.

      Also, if it helps, coming out isn't a binary thing. For me it was a process of slowly coming out to more and more people before I eventually just made a facebook post and told everyone who knew to feel free to tell others. I started HRT towards the beginning of that. There doesn't have to be a set order here.