I am still very early in this whole process, and there is still a lot of self doubt, so I am reading a lot of literature on "Am I trans" and dysphoria.

One concept that people often like to propose in these ressources is the button that makes you the opposite gender, and, crucially, also makes everyone else believe that you have been that way forever.

I don't really like this, because my time as a boy/man is part of who I am. I would not be me without it, and despite all of the problems I had and have due to my gender, it is still part of who I am. I fought through all of this and worked to find out who I want to be by myself. I wouldn't wanna be cis, and I also don't want to cease being the me born out of this struggle.

  • CarmineCatboy [he/him]
    ·
    10 months ago

    hmmmm, i'm not familiar with the literature (or that trans experience, i'm like a cis gay guy) but I wonder. would you say that the question fulfilled a purpose, in a way? i mean in the sense of leading you towards the conclusion that your personal history as a person is still a crucial part of who you are?

    fwiw it sounds to me like you're working through things pretty well.

    • DerEwigeAtheist [she/her, comrade/them]
      ·
      10 months ago

      I mean, that is my take on it, but the times I have seen it, the obvious expected answer was, that a trans person would push it. No 4D chess, or anything.

      fwiw it sounds to me like you're working through things pretty well.

      Thanks a lot, there are good and bad times. I rely on a diary to remind myself of what I want, and who I want to be, in the times I feel good.