[CW: Exclusionary rhetoric, enbyphobia, and transphobia]

spoiler

I am welcome here and valid as a non-binary person, right?

I consider myself transgender, and I've been invalidated by some other trans people who told me that I don't "count" as trans simply because I'm non-binary, despite being trans by

  • dictionary definition (identifying with a gender that does not align with my assigned sex at birth)
  • experience (social, medical and legal transition, all the stress [including financial] alongside it, and my family being viciously transphobic towards me)
  • and self-identification (I consider myself to be trans)

I have to ask because I used to assume that was granted in most trans communities, but after being excluded from many of them and told some transphobic things more harsh than anything cis people have told me even, I remain alert and skeptical whenever I encounter a new online community for trans people (or even queer people period).

  • Angel [any]M
    ·
    5 months ago

    From what I've noticed, anti-NB trans people love goalpost movements and no true Scotsman arguments.

    spoiler

    Regarding goalpost movements, I've literally had arguments that go like:

    Me: I'm non-binary and trans.

    Enbyphobe: No! You can't be non-binary AND trans because non-binary people don't have dysphoria!

    Me: But I do have dysphoria. It's been hurting me for a long time, it's been diagnosed by multiple professionals, and I am currently undergoing medical and social transition to alleviate it.

    Enbyphobe: Uh... well, you're still not trans because [insert arbitrary, extreme grasping at straws, insanely outlandish mental gymnastics redefinition of their criteria for being "validly" trans]

    And the no true Scotsman approach?

    Me: I'm non-binary and trans.

    Enbyphobe: No! You can't be non-binary AND trans because non-binary people don't have dysphoria!

    Me: But I do have dysphoria. It's been hurting me for a long time, it's been diagnosed by multiple professionals, and I am currently undergoing medical and social transition to alleviate it.

    Enbyphobe: Then you're either lying about being non-binary or you're lying about having dysphoria.

    You can't win with these people, so I just moved away from all spaces that perceived gatekeeping to even be slightly acceptable in their eyes. It took me a lot of time to undo the mentality that I don't "belong" to the trans community, and that was isolating because a lot of cishet people didn't show me a lot of love either. I'm glad a lot of people here are supportive. It gives me more confidence that I can be properly uplifted here.

    Transmedicalism is obviously the cause of this, and the premise that transmedicalism operates under, in and of itself, is false, but it's also problematic because they don't live up to said premise at face value anyway:

    They say "All we, as transmeds, believe is simply that you need dysphoria to be trans! That's it!", which, like I said, is already a false premise in and of itself, but it gets worse when you consider that when someone who is dysphoric doesn't meet a certain and particular assimilationist narrative around being trans, be it through them being GNC, non-binary, undergoing transition in an unconventional way, all of the above or something else, they then decide that their dysphoria doesn't truly "count" as real dysphoria.

    It's wild how this needless division has become an actual issue worth addressing when it shouldn't be an issue to begin with. It's like a fish telling another fish that it's not a fish just because it has scales and the other fish doesn't have scales.

      • Angel [any]M
        ·
        5 months ago

        Yeah, that's what I meant in that portion:

        Transmedicalism is obviously the cause of this, and the premise that transmedicalism operates under, in and of itself, is false, but it's also problematic because they don't live up to said premise at face value anyway:

        They say "All we, as transmeds, believe is simply that you need dysphoria to be trans! That's it!", which, like I said, is already a false premise in and of itself, but it gets worse when you consider that when someone who is dysphoric doesn't meet a certain and particular assimilationist narrative around being trans, be it through them being GNC, non-binary, undergoing transition in an unconventional way, all of the above or something else, they then decide that their dysphoria doesn't truly "count" as real dysphoria.