[CW: Exclusionary rhetoric, enbyphobia, and transphobia]

spoiler

I am welcome here and valid as a non-binary person, right?

I consider myself transgender, and I've been invalidated by some other trans people who told me that I don't "count" as trans simply because I'm non-binary, despite being trans by

  • dictionary definition (identifying with a gender that does not align with my assigned sex at birth)
  • experience (social, medical and legal transition, all the stress [including financial] alongside it, and my family being viciously transphobic towards me)
  • and self-identification (I consider myself to be trans)

I have to ask because I used to assume that was granted in most trans communities, but after being excluded from many of them and told some transphobic things more harsh than anything cis people have told me even, I remain alert and skeptical whenever I encounter a new online community for trans people (or even queer people period).

  • SnowySkyes [she/her]M
    ·
    5 months ago

    Fine by my eyes. I don't see the point of gatekeeping such as you mentioned.

    • Angel [any]
      hexagon
      M
      ·
      edit-2
      5 months ago

      There are a lot of things I don't see the point of, but people still engage in them anyway. Things being pointless don't stop a lot of people lmao.

  • ashinadash [she/her, comrade/them]
    ·
    5 months ago

    Anybody who thinks nonbinary people are not trans

    A) has a fundamental misunderstanding of what being trans even is

    B) deserves the gulag I'm pretty sure

    I'm always on watch for people who do queer disunity things like this, very scuffed. Dividing trans people like this cannot be a good thing. We all need eachother.

    • Angel [any]
      hexagon
      M
      ·
      edit-2
      5 months ago

      From what I've noticed, anti-NB trans people love goalpost movements and no true Scotsman arguments.

      spoiler

      Regarding goalpost movements, I've literally had arguments that go like:

      Me: I'm non-binary and trans.

      Enbyphobe: No! You can't be non-binary AND trans because non-binary people don't have dysphoria!

      Me: But I do have dysphoria. It's been hurting me for a long time, it's been diagnosed by multiple professionals, and I am currently undergoing medical and social transition to alleviate it.

      Enbyphobe: Uh... well, you're still not trans because [insert arbitrary, extreme grasping at straws, insanely outlandish mental gymnastics redefinition of their criteria for being "validly" trans]


      And the no true Scotsman approach?

      Me: I'm non-binary and trans.

      Enbyphobe: No! You can't be non-binary AND trans because non-binary people don't have dysphoria!

      Me: But I do have dysphoria. It's been hurting me for a long time, it's been diagnosed by multiple professionals, and I am currently undergoing medical and social transition to alleviate it.

      Enbyphobe: Then you're either lying about being non-binary or you're lying about having dysphoria.


      You can't win with these people, so I just moved away from all spaces that perceived gatekeeping to even be slightly acceptable in their eyes. It took me a lot of time to undo the mentality that I don't "belong" to the trans community, and that was isolating because a lot of cishet people didn't show me a lot of love either. I'm glad a lot of people here are supportive. It gives me more confidence that I can be properly uplifted here.

      Transmedicalism is obviously the cause of this, and the premise that transmedicalism operates under, in and of itself, is false, but it's also problematic because they don't live up to said premise at face value anyway:

      They say "All we, as transmeds, believe is simply that you need dysphoria to be trans! That's it!", which, like I said, is already a false premise in and of itself, but it gets worse when you consider that when someone who is dysphoric doesn't meet a certain and particular assimilationist narrative around being trans, be it through them being GNC, non-binary, undergoing transition in an unconventional way, all of the above or something else, they then decide that their dysphoria doesn't truly "count" as real dysphoria.

      It's wild how this needless division has become an actual issue worth addressing when it shouldn't be an issue to begin with. It's like a fish telling another fish that it's not a fish just because it has scales and the other fish doesn't have scales.

        • Angel [any]
          hexagon
          M
          ·
          5 months ago

          Yeah, that's what I meant in that portion:

          Transmedicalism is obviously the cause of this, and the premise that transmedicalism operates under, in and of itself, is false, but it's also problematic because they don't live up to said premise at face value anyway:

          They say "All we, as transmeds, believe is simply that you need dysphoria to be trans! That's it!", which, like I said, is already a false premise in and of itself, but it gets worse when you consider that when someone who is dysphoric doesn't meet a certain and particular assimilationist narrative around being trans, be it through them being GNC, non-binary, undergoing transition in an unconventional way, all of the above or something else, they then decide that their dysphoria doesn't truly "count" as real dysphoria.

  • Tommasi [she/her]
    ·
    5 months ago

    Yes! It's a community for all trans people, including non-binary people.

    It must suck to have had to deal with that kind of bigotry from what should be trans-friendly communities, I'm sure the mods here wouldn't tolerate anything like that.

  • bestesttrash [she/her]
    ·
    5 months ago

    I’m sry some of our uneducated and unsympathetic comrades attempted to exclude you. Sometimes It can take a bit to realize that gender constructs you were raised to believe are incorrect and damaging. People can be assholes about this kinda stuff but make no mistake your not only welcome here but also a comrade and I love all my trans comrades

    Show

  • JohannaChittarra
    ·
    5 months ago

    Holy shit yes please stay. We love our nonbinary comrades.

  • Rom [he/him]
    ·
    5 months ago

    We love all our LGBTQ+ comrades trans-heart

    • Angel [any]
      hexagon
      M
      ·
      5 months ago

      Unity and solidarity wins always! red-fist

  • SwitchyWitchyandBitchy [she/her]
    ·
    edit-2
    5 months ago

    Truscum or other enbyphobic trans people don't get to dictate who is a valid trans person and who isn't. If someone says they are trans then the default reaction should be to accept them however they present, especially in trans spaces.

    • Angel [any]
      hexagon
      M
      ·
      5 months ago

      They literally don't, but I don't think they realize this. You have to ask them.

      Truscum/Enbyphobes: Being trans must mean [definition of trans that is not considered to be legitimate in any dictionary, LGBTQ+ advocacy group, casual or colloquial usage, or even medical and/or psychological context]

      Me: Okay, now tell me, what gives you the authority to dictate such a measure within language?

      They won't supply a legitimate answer because they don't have a legitimate answer. Transmedicalism is something I view as a hateful ideology that masquerades itself as one revolving around "reason", "medicine", and "science".

  • regularassbitch [she/her]M
    ·
    5 months ago

    dropping in to add another "yes, absolutely"

    fuck those people, you are absolutely welcome here. please report anyone telling you otherwise