if you call everyone dude and a transfem person gets mad about it, don't get defensive. just say like "sorry, i won't do it again" and don't argue "actually it's gender neutral" or "i call everyone dude". even if you do, i guarantee she's heard that argument from someone who very much does not call people they see as women dude. i certainly have

same goes double for the word guy.

  • Cromalin [she/her]
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    4 months ago

    when it's a plural group of people i don't think it's as big a deal, but it would be good to find an alternative

    • zed_proclaimer [he/him]
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      4 months ago

      Funny enough a plural group of people being addressed as “guys” or “dudes” is the original source of this discourse, because early feminists were annoyed by being implicitly excluded in the language of people at work and school

      • Cromalin [she/her]
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        4 months ago

        doing it to a group is implicitly excluding women, but doing it to a specific women is explicitly misgendering. personally i wish neither would happen, but when it's the former it's something that happens to cis women too, and while it sucks it's not the worst thing in the world, whereas the latter feels really bad (to me, i understand if others feel differently)