if you call everyone dude and a transfem person gets mad about it, don't get defensive. just say like "sorry, i won't do it again" and don't argue "actually it's gender neutral" or "i call everyone dude". even if you do, i guarantee she's heard that argument from someone who very much does not call people they see as women dude. i certainly have
same goes double for the word guy.
What aboot Canadian "buddy" and "pal"? I tend not to take offense aboot it because I figure they don't know any better.
I live in the US south these are fighting words. Comes off as condescending
Don't forget chief and champ, those are fighting words in the north too.