if you call everyone dude and a transfem person gets mad about it, don't get defensive. just say like "sorry, i won't do it again" and don't argue "actually it's gender neutral" or "i call everyone dude". even if you do, i guarantee she's heard that argument from someone who very much does not call people they see as women dude. i certainly have
same goes double for the word guy.
I draw the line at "mate". I get everything else can be and is gendered and thats fine but "mate" is going to be the hill I die on.
As Egon@hexbear.net pointed out, it's more referred to companionship with a friend than reproduction and as others have pointed to and I agree with, if you dont want to be called x then I won't.