if you call everyone dude and a transfem person gets mad about it, don't get defensive. just say like "sorry, i won't do it again" and don't argue "actually it's gender neutral" or "i call everyone dude". even if you do, i guarantee she's heard that argument from someone who very much does not call people they see as women dude. i certainly have

same goes double for the word guy.

  • Cromalin [she/her]M
    ·
    9 months ago

    ohhhh ok, yeah. gender neutral language is hard. usually for the latter i just say 'person' and for the former i just cuss. i do sometimes notice "man" slipping into my speech, like "man that sucked" and i try to avoid it but i'm only so successful. expletives are often less targeted at the conversation partner so it feels less problematic to me but i still think it's generally polite to avoid unless you know someone is chill with it