if you call everyone dude and a transfem person gets mad about it, don't get defensive. just say like "sorry, i won't do it again" and don't argue "actually it's gender neutral" or "i call everyone dude". even if you do, i guarantee she's heard that argument from someone who very much does not call people they see as women dude. i certainly have

same goes double for the word guy.

  • Cromalin [she/her]M
    ·
    8 months ago

    i am fine with pronoun circles, but sometimes you can tell people have clocked you and are either doing it because of that or really focusing on you. and even without that there's always a lot of anxiety tied up in it, especially before i was out when i had to intentionally misgender myself which was super painful

      • Cromalin [she/her]M
        ·
        8 months ago

        i think that the pronoun circles should happen, i would never suggest otherwise. even if it's because i've been clocked, i still want to have the chance to give my pronouns. i'm kind of just bitching about how it's painful and frustrating to deal with here, this isn't me declaring the way i feel the world should be run

        edit: yeah, i got what you were saying. i think that progressive spaces are better for having pronoun circles in them, but that doesn't mean they aren't going to make me feel shitty sometimes

          • Cromalin [she/her]M
            ·
            8 months ago

            yeah, i don't know that there's a good solution to this, it's a very low level of frustration that sucks but i think it might be the best we've got rn