So for some genderfluid people, they can have triggers that cause them to "swap" gender identity. If you measure these things you can find ways to avoid "swapping".
Again, just spit balling here, but measuring your mood, what you did, what seemed to trigger dysphoria, you might figure out if you're that flavor of gender fluid. Your experience is definitely out of the norm for a trans woman, but it could be you have hangups that are cultural too that are confusing it. (Re: muscularity, women with penises) It's possible you could be a lot of things
I think the important thing is to try to measure stuff so you have a more concrete list of things going on. For example I helped a xenogender person irl that seemed to have swaps based on sunlight, turns out the swap was based on vitamin d and taking that helped them stay more towards one identity
So for some genderfluid people, they can have triggers that cause them to "swap" gender identity. If you measure these things you can find ways to avoid "swapping".
Again, just spit balling here, but measuring your mood, what you did, what seemed to trigger dysphoria, you might figure out if you're that flavor of gender fluid. Your experience is definitely out of the norm for a trans woman, but it could be you have hangups that are cultural too that are confusing it. (Re: muscularity, women with penises) It's possible you could be a lot of things
I think the important thing is to try to measure stuff so you have a more concrete list of things going on. For example I helped a xenogender person irl that seemed to have swaps based on sunlight, turns out the swap was based on vitamin d and taking that helped them stay more towards one identity
That's fucking wild
I don't want to avoid swapping all together because I like the expression, but having more control would be helpful.
Thank you so much