cat-trans

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  • Tomboymoder [she/her, pup/pup's]
    ·
    4 months ago
    CW: sexual harassment

    Is it weird to get a sense of affirmation from being harassed? or am I just fucked in the head?

    Like on one hand I think it gave me some amount of trauma because I was alone at night in a secluded location with this man who would not stop trying to come on to me and ask me these really inappropriate sexually charged questions. I was just kind of frozen in fear trying to placate him incase he reacted aggressively and also terrified he would figure out I was trans and that would set him off.
    It was not fun in the moment.

    But at the same time it like…connects me to pretty much every other women in the world and this shared experience/struggle.
    And it’s kind of validating to pass enough (at night at least) for this dude to even make a move.

    Idk am I alone in having these mixed feelings?

    • ashinadash [she/her]
      ·
      4 months ago
      More of same

      Naw I think this isn't uncommon, or at least I saw it a lot in like, trans discords. There's even an AWFUL Watamote episode that takes this line of thought uncritically.

      I mean it's kinda brainwormed because harassment == fucking bad, but I guess, this is in fact a facet-of-womanhood-thing you have experienced. And hey, you do know you pass. You got perceived as female, so let me offer my most pained congratulations desolate It's scuffed but I can understand the thought process. Sure does suck that male harassment has to be a womanhood thing, we just gotta Abolish the Male Sex y'know.

      You'll be really tired of it the second and fifth and tenth time it happens though, it's not fun! Stay safe meow-hug

    • magi [null/void]M
      ·
      4 months ago

      Unfortunately it's because of the type of society we live in.

    • WalrusDragonOnABike [they/them]@lemmy.today
      ·
      4 months ago

      But at the same time it like…connects me to pretty much every other women in the world and this shared experience/struggle.... Idk am I alone in having these mixed feelings?

      Definitely not.

      I don't have any experiences like that, but some small amount of physical harassment (back when I was an egg, so no validation of passing as anything), and still felt it to be a cool experience to have for the reason you mentioned.